Mommy Life: Speaking of gender differences

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April 15, 2008 4:59 PM

Speaking of gender differences

Tripp forwarded this to me:

NICKNAMES
* If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
* If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.
EATING OUT

*When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
*When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY

* A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
*A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

BATHROOMS

*A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from M&S.
*The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS

*A woman has the last word in any argument.
*Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

CATS

*Women love cats.
*Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

FUTURE

*A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
*A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS

*A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
*A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE

*A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
*A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

OFFSPRING

*A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
*A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.