May 23, 2008 1:34 PM
For any mom who needs a lift today
In case anyone else needs a lift today:
Dear Barbara,Yesterday was realllllly hard on me. I know every mother's days are hard but this is me and about my family and I had a hard day. Mondays are usually fine but when it comes to thurs and fri I am at the end. I am now planning things to do to look forward to on Fridays. I dont care how much gas I burn up. Being that its hot here and nearly exhausting to even be outside I am trying my best to keep these 2 youngins occupied.
I just a had a hard day and I need reassurance...............even though my husband is the best husband and reassures me all the time. I am honest and raw about my emotions with him and he doesn't think I'm crazy.
And we went from double income no kids to single income 2 kids. I know this is the most important job. Sometimes I wish I worked but I cant bear to send my babies to childcare. Not for one minute. Its not an option. (my paycheck would go to childcare anyway!)
I also am starting to pray before my feet hit the floor!
Thanks for "listening"
Dear _____
It is not an easy life and I fail in so many ways on so many days. How I wish I were happy about it all the time too! My goal is to do mothering in such a way as to make it look easy, even when it's not. Please know that when I share here, I'm sharing my ideals, because we all need ideals to keep us on target. When we don't measure up, it's important not to beat ourselves up.
Get out a blanket and lie down and look at the clouds or the leaves in the trees with your kids. Rest. Show them how it's done - resting - if you can :)
Do something fun. Bow bubbles. Make popcorn. Put on music and dance with your kids. Get in front of a mirror and make funny faces. Sometimes it only takes five minutes of something not-so-demanding but with instant rewards like this to turn your emotional ship around.
I'm sorry. I realize I'm being like my husband when I complain and he starts making suggestions when all I wanted was someone to listen and say "I understand."
So let me make sure you know: I'm listening. I understand. I had a day like this myself a few days ago. This morning I was thinking about how black everything looked a few days ago and I could hardly believe it how great I'm feeling today. Our emotions are like the clouds - morphing and growing and shrinking and growing again, but always just passing by. This is a moment and it will pass too.
You are doing the most important job on earth. Someday you may well be doing something else, but looking back you will never regret these years. I really appreciate your steadfast encouragement of me and I am so glad you would give me a chance to send you some encouragement when you need it.
So be encouraged. Take heart!
love,
barbara
guess I'll publish this anonymously in case anyone else out there needs a lift. And you must remind me of this when I need a lift myself :)
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Comments
Oh I needed to read that, too! I had one of those days yesterday. . .complete with a total 2 year old melt down at Target and a meddling woman who obviously disapproved of my "let him work it out on his own while I try to make my way to the nearest exit" parenting technique. I was hot, tired, frazzled, embarrassed and immediately called my mother on the cell phone in the parking lot once all the children were strapped into their carseats. She had much the same advice. . ."this too shall pass" and, for added measure what my heart needed to hear, "you are doing the best you can today."
Sometimes, especially on those hard days, you just need to vent it, have willing ears to listen to it and a simple word of understanding to let you know you're not alone.
Posted by: Franchelle | May 23, 2008 5:31 PM
I really like what you wrote about emotions. I've written it down and if you have anything to add to that, it would be so interesting to know.
Posted by: Lela | May 23, 2008 6:45 PM
It's always good to know we mamas are not alone on "those" days. I will use the clouds analogy, it fits in with the one I came up with for my son (4 yo): your anger (tantrum) is like a storm so my role is stay near by and watch the storm go by. Amazingly, that attitude & analogy also worked great with my husband recently.
Posted by: Alison | May 29, 2008 2:04 AM
