June 4, 2008 2:04 PM
Being "special" and self-esteem
I, like so many others, was outraged and saddened to read about the terrible behavior of Alex's kindergarten teacher, not to mention the potential lasting effects on the child.However, it occurred to me that because he has an IEP, indicating Special Education, it is possible that he doesn't want to be called "special"... therefore his repeating, "I'm not special". Maybe the other children have been making fun of him for being "special" (unfortunately, I have seen this happen to special education students of all ages).
Just a thought for consideration. Either way, it is heartbreaking. I appreciate what you are doing to try to help this family.
I got a similar comment from another reader, so thought I'd toss it out for discussion.
What comes to my mind is how we have used the word "special" to define all children beginning as toddlers, when Barney tells them they are "special" - as well as numerous inspirational/religious videos aimed at kids.
I think the introduction of the term Special Ed comes later, so my guess is that this is not what Alex meant.
Still thought it was worth throwing out there for discussion.
By the way, I have advocated for many years that instead of trying to build children's self-esteem by telling them they're special, that we give them the dignity of feeling useful bu teaching them to help in whatever capacity they can. True self-esteem comes from doing something for others.
Further thoughts:
Elisabeth Elliot on self-esteem
Praising children's efforts - the Montessori approach
Posted in Alex Barton, Autism, Disabilities, Down syndrome, Special education | Permalink
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Comments
Barbara,
We tell our boys that they are made in the image of God, that they are unconditionally loved by God and by us, that they can to "all things" through Christ who strengthens us, that Jesus died to redeem them, that we value them as members of the family and individuals.... you see where I'm going with this. We praise them when we see them following Jesus, when we see them persevering, when they are kind, etc.
I am SICK AND TIRED of the whole "self-esteem" mind set. I know that you are not advocating what I'm opposed to, but it's important to clarify the difference.
Our secular humanist culture is all about Self Esteem, (and Self-everything-else.) In my oh-so-humble personal opinion, there is far too much emphasis on SELF esteem, and far too little on esteeming OTHERS (the Biblical pattern).
Absolutely, I think the way the teacher treated Alex was horrible and inexcusable. But the way we restore his little soul is to give him (and our own children) a Biblical perspective on their identity... both the "negative" (sinners, absolutely unable to do anything good on our own, unable to redeem ourselves) and the "positive' (loved by God, made in His image, redeemed by the precious blood of His son, and created to have fellowship with GOD!!!)
Okay, off my soap-box...
Posted by: Julie | June 4, 2008 3:51 PM
By the way, I have advocated for many years that instead of trying to build children's self-esteem by telling them they're special, that we give them the dignity of feeling useful bu teaching them to help in whatever capacity they can. True self-esteem comes from doing something for others.
I very much agree with you on this. The look of pride/accomplishment on Quinn's face and his enthusiasm as he helps me put the laundry in the dryer or helps to make pancakes on Saturday morning warms my heart and actually lifts me when I become discouraged on the occasions I'm not able to reach him.
Posted by: Dani | June 5, 2008 7:15 AM
