July 31, 2008 7:39 PM
Children and theater - a win/win scenario
HI Barbara,I know that you are busy with moving and all, but if you ever get the time, I wanted to ask you how you got your children involved in theatre. I have four children, ages: 11, 9,9, and 7. The twins are shy and the other two are a bit more outgoing. This fall, our small town is putting on the show "The Wizard of Oz" and they all want to try out for it; I talked to the director and he mentioned that they need all kinds of parts for this play, speaking and non-speaking..
I'm rambling, but I guess what I want to know is, I was never really involved in theater and all, but how should I encourage all of my children on this journey? :)
I know you are busy, so please don't feel pressured to answer this. :)
Your friend,
Becky
Actually, you weren't rambling :)
And I think this is a great question - which is why I asked permission to print it.
Over the years, we've had kids involved in soccer, football, basketball, volleyball, baseball and swim team. And theater - including a little dance and lots of voice lessons for those kids who were interested in professional help.
All of our kids have been in plays - for varying lengths of time. Oh, except Samantha, who was in one when she was in middle school at her best friend's insistence and who dropped out before the performances because it was just so painful for her.
Other than that, all of our children enjoyed theater. Some have gone on to make it a career: Matt supports himself by working in dinner theaters, Ben is in his final year preparing for an opera career. Sophia is planning on majoring in theater and wants to be a children's director. Maddy and Jonny both want to work on Broadway. Each of these kids has been in at least 20 plays. They just kind of exist in between.
Josh was into it for fun and did shows he felt like doing - his last one was 1776 when we first moved to Virginia and he was 18. Now he's a working man with a wife and no time for that sort of thing.
Zach was a in a few plays, including Evita and West Side Story, but he decided when he was 14 that he didn't like it anymore.
My feeling is that it's good if you have the opportunity to give your child a chance to do a lot of different things to see where they shine. I didn't push my kids into theater - just encouraged and supported them as long as they were interested. To be successful, kids really do need parents behind them.
While I love the benefits of sports - especially swim team, which is my all-time favorite for kids - since you ask, I am happy to have the chance to sing the praises of theater.
Kids theater is a great way to build self-confidence and poise in children. It is a good forum for learning to listen closely, take direction and accept constructive criticism (not like Little League where people may be hollering at you, but thoughtful comments usually at the end of rehearsals. As a child develops maturity, building roles and responding to other actors on stage encourages thinking about emotional interaction - motivations and what makes people tick. How what people say may not be exactly what they feel. What the limits of human communication are.
Deep, huh? No, really, I think that for kids who pursue drama seriously, there is a lot of empathy developed.
I also have found that theater kids are the most accepting and encouraging group of kids of any activity. I have observed very little cattiness or competition. Kids who continue acting learn to handle rejection by not falling apart or taking it personally. They learn to rejoice with their friends who get the roles they wanted too.
Thinking about it, too, I see that after a sporting event there is a side that loses and they are disappointed. But at the end of a show, usually everyone is thrilled and satisfied.
So thanks for asking - there are probably lots of other moms who had the same question.
I would say go for it, Becky! See how your kids like it. It is quite nice, too, when you have all the kids in one place for an activity at the same team (one of the reasons I love swim team, too).
Let me know what you decide and how they do. One thing I'd suggest is letting them watch the show many times before the audtition so they are prepared and feel as confident at possible.
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Comments
I couldn't agree more. Theater needs all kinds of people on stage. In this play, if you are not a lead character, it is 90%+ group singing - very easy for shy kids. What they will learn will carry over to real life - how to 'pretend' to be something you are not. They can 'pretend' to be confident even when they don't feel so. At least that is the way it has worked in our family. And you may be surprised. My quiet, reserved guy just shone in when his group did "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat" with an all child cast. He was a brother & did the French solo. They also learned the difference between criticism of a performances/behavior and criticism of them personally. That is something a lot of adults need to learn. Good luck & plan some easy dinners/snacks for rehaersal nights.
Posted by: Stephanie in AR | July 31, 2008 9:47 PM
I agree! My kids are involved in theatre and they love it! It has been so good for them. I just re-ran a post on kids' theatre auditions that may help.
Leslie
Posted by: My Twenty Cents Keeps Moving | July 31, 2008 11:22 PM
Thanks for that wisdom. Especially pertinent to me as I've just finished a summer of swim lessons for my oldest (6). Though I have three kids, I still have a lot to learn and don't have the perspective of someone older who can see the fruit of all the labor.
I was really unhappy with the ball field-type sports that my son has played, mainly b/c of the overbearing parents. My son was five!!! But swim lessons (with a small group of kids) have been far more enjoyable for all of us. I also think it's a better sport-choice for the long term. I never learned to swim very well and regret that.
I never had an opportunity to do theater--music was my thing. And man, oh man, did I love that. The group experience is a blessing and an honor to be a part of.
Now look who's rambling.
Posted by: Stretch Mark Mama | August 1, 2008 2:15 AM
I have come across a rare 'baseball' parent in theater but not often. I believe it is because theater paid for by the audience and that requires a good show. If the group wants to remain a group, then the shows must be as high quality as possible. Also, you may have to gently nudge your children with good pep talks - reminding them that other siblings are also on stage and you are right where ever parents are. (Sometimes they will practice in a smaller room first then move to the stage) Closer to show time things will get more hectic as the excitement builds. I would suggest making a small portable sewing kit to fix/adjust any costumes. Also two of anything that is not as sturdy like tights, hair clips (sometimes boys need them for the hairdos in this show).
Do not be surprised if closer to the show the excitement makes them want to quit - even to the point of tears. Stage fright or jitters is a different feeling and needs to be talked about BUT don't suggest this first because I have seen some simply excited children be talked into stage fright. We talk about finishing what we started and so on. My 9 yo son won a scholarship for his class because he talked about his jitters and how you keep going even if you make a mistake.
Do find out about their picture taking policy. We are not allowed to take pictures during shows but can during dress rehearsals. Something good to know. You might see if there is a book on theater customs & manners. For example the dimming of lights as a warning the show is about to start.
Everything we do with our kids has bumpy parts but some bumps are more fun than others. We like dance & theater bumps much more than sports. lol - and its air conditioned too.
Posted by: Stephanie in AR | August 1, 2008 11:00 AM
I actually was a theatre bum - I was in performances of the Wizard of Oz, Annie, the Honeymooners, Snow White, Grease; and actually my school promoted students writing their own plays and showing them to the rest of the school.
I think theatre is great!!! It gives you an escape and builds skills in so many areas! And you are right about the accepting and encouraging of the kids - everyone was part of a team and you were never left out - if it was not on stage it was back stage - we even rotated so everyone got a chance.
I am also a baseball mom - but not your typical baseball league - my kids are part of Miracle League baseball for children with special needs and this is the best group of parents unlike traditional little leagues - there are no losers and everyone gets a chance to play.
The important thing is to give your children to do the things they are interested in and that way you will find their skills and their wants, etc. and a way to join them in their excitement.
Posted by: Krystal - momofautism | August 1, 2008 4:08 PM
I think that in addition to exposing our children to the magic of theater, we need to be practical as well. That's why I'm exposing my children to the life of the ninja assassin, just in case their career plans don't pan out, or the world keeps getting more fearful.
Posted by: InnerLegend | August 2, 2008 6:31 PM
Barbara,
Love the post. The kids have a ton of musicals on video. We dance and sing and sometimes I cant get the song outta my head......"The sun'll come out tomorrow"............or "Gonna wash that man right outta my hair"............and the o so ever lovely "Supercalafragalisticexpialadoshussss.....". I would love it if my children were in theater!
-Shannon
Posted by: Shannon Best | August 2, 2008 8:45 PM
Great topic, Barbara! On a personal note, I started acting at a young age, I have a degree in theatre and prior to changing my name to "Mom," I had a short lived career as a working actress. My hats as a choreographer for a children's summer theatre camp and a resident artist for a children's theatre have given me countless opportunities to see how the theatre arts can awaken in children untapped talent and confidence in the most unexpected ways. There is something in our human soul, I think, that is tuned to the beauty of ritual and creative expression which one so easily finds in the theatre.
Having said that. . .there are, of course, real dangers and temptations which are often inherent and particular to theatre communities. This can be discouraging OR it can be a wonderful opportunity to strengthen one's faith and moral resolve. Parents just need to be aware, watchful, and involved as their children start shuffling their feet on the boards!
Posted by: Franchelle | August 4, 2008 12:08 AM
