July 7, 2008 3:14 PM
Montessori Mondays - set the example
When I took my Montessori training, there was a strong emphasis on the way the teacher moved about in the classroom. I was taught to walk and to sit and to present lessons in a calm and serene manner. It was so cool. It changed me.
And then as a teacher, I remember how it felt to float about the class, testing what I had been taught: that by speaking softly and walking more slowly and being more careful, I could produce a class of children inclined to be more quiet and graceful too.
In spite of my training and experience, that lesson didn’t automatically translate into my motherhood. After all, the classroom was the classroom and home was home.
But after living up close and personal with my own toddlers and dealing with a few spills too many, I had to take stock of the kind of role model I’d become. The moment of truth came for me one morning when I got mad at Joshua for spilling his cereal as he carried it to the table.
"Joshua! You've got to be more careful! Look at this mess!" I yelled at my son in a way I never would have yelled at a child in my class.
Later, after Josh had gone out to play I was so ashamed of myself. And I realized that a major part of Joshua's problem was that I was not living up to what I had been taught. In an effort to keep up with all my household "stuff" I'd just slipped back to the pre-Montessori approach to life - in the name of efficiency and multi-tasking, I'd become a poor role model for my kids.
I was holding a baby on my hip with a phone in one hand while pouring milk with the other. Dashing to the table with a bowl of cereal in one hand while scrunching the phone on my shoulder so I could grab a spoon – slamming the silverware drawer shut with my hip on the way.
If I translated my Montessori training into my motherhood, I would simply need to slow down, focus and do one thing at a time. If my child needed to carry a cereal bowl with two hands to keep from spilling, the only way he'd learn that is if I did it that way too - whether it was necessary or not.
And if you're just setting your child's cereal bowl in front of him fully made in the morning, you need to back up even further to rethink what parts of that process you can turn over to him to help him reach his own potential. Can he get out his own bowl? Stand on a stool to pour his own cereal? His own milk? Get off the stool and then take the bowl to carry it to the table? Then you should let him because this helps develop his coordination, his independence, and his self-esteem.
But even as you are helping him develop his skills, you may need to pause and consider the world through his eyes to understand how your own example can better equip him to move ahead as a graceful and self-reliant human being.
Maybe you can see, as I saw that morning how a busy, distracted mom could be at the root of her children’s problems maneuvering through life? Can you see that with a few changes she can set him up for success?
Very simply, we need to set aside thoughts of efficiency and instead, when our kids are around, use as much concentration to do things as our kids would need. Walk more slowly as we carry things. Carry one thing at a time and use two hands. Open and shut doors and drawers more carefully and quietly. Tie their shoes as though it were the most absorbing activity in the world. Do only one thing at a time and to be completely focused on the task at hand.
Children are born imitators – or as I call them, Little Mirrors. God made them that way for a reason, I’m sure, and I for one don’t want to let Him down.
In Titus 2:7, Paul says, “In everything set them an example by doing what is good.” Great advice. In my book, Mommy, Teach Me! I suggest how to make a fresh start:
Why not make it a habit to observe yourself as you go about your daily routine? Where can you improve, and by improving set up a more successful future for your child?Don’t underestimate the significance of the little things. As we get into more specifics about how children learn, you’ll see that your example builds a foundation even more important as the math and language lessons your children will receive in years to come.
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Pictured above are Aggie and her daughter doing a pincushion exercise which I describe in Mommy, Teach Me! You can find other pictures at the Mommy, Teach Me! album:
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| Mommy, Teach Me! |
As always, I invite you all to comment or link with your own pictures and ideas about applying Montessori.
Posted in Homeschooling, Montessori, Montessori Mondays, Mothering, Preschoolers, Toddlers | Permalink
Comments
It is so easy to get caught up in the rush, isn't it? This is such a good reminder of why it is important to do things slowly and deliberately (and with quality!)
Posted by: Amanda | July 7, 2008 6:01 PM
To cite a specific example of how modeling can work, I applied something I learned here about helping children to be more careful in their coloring work: When coloring with my daughter, instead of moving the crayon as quickly as most adults do when shading in a picture, I slowed WAY down and colored like it required all my concentration. With no verbal prompting from me, my daughter began imitating the great care with which I held and moved my crayon. Now, she has VERY impressive fine motor control, as evidenced by her coloring. This is carrying over into her writing as she learns to make letters. This is an example of how powerful our examples can be, even without saying a word. I was amazed!
Posted by: Marisa | July 7, 2008 7:14 PM
Great post Barbara and so true, I tend to rush way too much, trying to "get it all done" and forgetting that my children need me to slow down. I popped in a short little post on sandpaper numbers :) Blessings!
Posted by: Meredith Henning | July 8, 2008 11:02 AM
