August 23, 2008 10:43 PM
For Northerners moving South
In my Inbox from Tripp - hilarious!
FOR NORTHERNERS MOVING SOUTH . . ..
In the South: --If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.
Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store...do not buy food at this store.
Remember, 'Y'all' is singular, 'all y'all' is plural, and 'all y'all's' is plural possessive.
Get used to hearing 'You ain't from round here, are ya?'
Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later on how to use it.
Don't be worried at not understanding what people are saying. They can't understand you either. The first Southern statement to creep into a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective 'big'ol,' truck or 'big'ol' boy. Most Northerners begin their Southern-influenced dialect this way. All of them are in denial about it.
The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper.
Be advised that 'He needed killin.' is a valid defense here.
If you hear a Southerner exclaim, 'Hey, y'all watch this,' you should stay out of the way. These are likely to be the last words he'll ever say.
If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the smallest accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store. It doesn't matter whether you need anything or not. You just have to go there.
Do not be surprised to find that 10-year olds own their own shotguns, they are proficient marksmen, and their mammas taught them how to aim.
In the South, we have found that the best way to grow a lush, green lawn is to pour gravel on it and call it a driveway.
AND REMEMBER: If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't think we will accept them as Southerners. After all, if the cat had kittens in the oven, we ain't gonna call 'em biscuits.
Feel free to add your own. . .
Comments
Okay too funny. May I steal this?? LOL.... We moved to Tn and lived there for @2 years, and I can SO relate to this. Thanks for the giggle.
Amy
Posted by: Amy | August 23, 2008 11:44 PM
No, no, no! "Y'all" is NOT singular; it is second person plural. Using it as a singular pronoun is tantamount to wearing a t-shirt emblazoned with the "Carpetbagger" logo. "All y'all" is emphatic plural. And "y'alls" is possessive, without the apostrophe (in the manner of "its").
I'll concede that "big ol'" is highly contagious, but what's even more epidemic is the superfluous dative case, as in, "I'm gonna get me some of that fried okra," or "You need to get you a bigger truck."
The first linguistic heads-up I would give Northerners heading down this-a way? "Tea" is not what you're thinking it is. It's cold, and its sugar content exceeds that of most candy stores.
Posted by: Kalynne Pudner | August 24, 2008 12:35 AM
Alright y'all...I've lived in either Texas or North Carolina for the past 10 years and I have a deep dark confession. I hate sweet tea. There, I've said it. I don't like sugar water!
Ok, I'm prepared to be stoned now.
Posted by: lauren | August 24, 2008 9:34 AM
Oh My the topic of sweet tea, LOL. I was offered a glass of sweet tea with in 2 days to stepping foot in Tn. May I just say this there seems to me that this should actually be called tea syrup as it is so sweet and sticky and well actually kinda thick. I choked over my first sip, I tried to finish the glass to be polite, but that was the only glass of sweet tea I will ever drink. Brrr gives me the shivers to think about it, LOL. Even the words sweet tea on a menu give me the shakes, LOL.
Posted by: Amy | August 24, 2008 1:59 PM
Growing up in the midwest, I didn't know that "fidy cent" is the same thing as "fifty cents", but it is.
Posted by: Pam | August 24, 2008 2:38 PM
Bwah ha ha! Loved this and had to share:
My dh grew up in MN and I in CA (Bay area). The AF and Navy moved us ALL over, but in the end we chose to live in Georgia. We LOVE it here and we have lots of proud native Georgia friends. Yesterday, we were at a 30th anniversary reception and some of the men were 'pickin' on' my dh who replied (in his dry northern way they have come to love): "That's Okay, I CHOSE to live here... you were just born here!"
Posted by: Stephanie | August 24, 2008 8:37 PM
Bwah ha ha! Loved this and had to share:
My dh grew up in MN and I in CA (Bay area). The AF and Navy moved us ALL over, but in the end we chose to live in Georgia. We LOVE it here and we have lots of proud native Georgia friends. Yesterday, we were at a 30th anniversary reception and some of the men were 'pickin' on' my dh who replied (in his dry northern way they have come to love): "That's Okay, I CHOSE to live here... you were just born here!"
Posted by: Stephanie | August 24, 2008 8:37 PM
How about tips for southerners moving north. I'm from Georgia and just moved to Maine. Easy adjustment so far. It is summer. I do miss that southern drawl, yall.
Posted by: Terry | August 25, 2008 6:06 PM
