September 6, 2008 1:06 PM
Bristol Palin: a second look at her future
A link from Martha:
What Our Daughters Must Know
by Dr. Miriam Grossman, M.D.With the brouhaha over Bristol Palin's pregnancy, here's a plus no one's considered: should this young woman go to college as a married mom, she'll be spared four years of the campus hook-up culture.
That's no small thing. I was a campus physician for years, and know firsthand how students suffer from the toxic Sex in the City lifestyle on our campuses. College health and counseling services are packed with casualties of the anything-goes sexual mentality; many are girls who practiced "safer sex." They did as they were told and used "protection," but still paid a hefty price: genital warts and blisters, pre-cancerous conditions, worries about slipped condoms and HIV--to say nothing of chaotic, empty relationships and broken hearts.
These young women had been misled, and had a false sense of security. They were led to believe--not only by Hollywood, but by the nation's leading sex ed organizations and popular health education sites like Columbia University's GoAskAlice.com--that they are just like men, that sex is easily separated from emotions and procreation, and that with "protection," casual liaisons can be a natural, positive part of growing up.
That philosophy is a result of social activists of the last century: Alfred Kinsey, Hugh Hefner, Gloria Steinem--figures that Bristol's generation study in history class. Even the HIV-era notion of "safer sex" was developed years before they were born. While you'd hardly know it from the advice these kids get from sex educators or Columbia's Alice, the world has changed. In this century, we're fighting a horde of bugs, and the bugs are winning.
Canonized by the sex ed industry and considered transparent truths, "safer sex" guidelines are out of date. In 2008, it's not enough to communicate with "partners," get tested for STI's, and use condoms. These days, young people--especially girls--who wish to avoid sexually transmitted infections need a different plan.
Read entire article here.
What is amazing about this is that the Palins are examples of love and support. Yes, their daughter stepped outside the boundaries they taught her were best, but they have not shamed or humiliated or hidden her.
I'd say that she and her fiance have a better chance of raising a successful family than a lot of 20- and 30-somethings who get married after a pattern of serial relationships and sexual partners.
It's their choice.
Posted in Campaign 2008, Pro-Life Issues | Permalink
Comments
I married young ( 21) but my husband says that there was no reason why we could not have married sooner.....I think we were used to the concept that you have to be " older" to get married. Even at 21, we had doubters who wondered if we were too young. 11 years and 4 kids later we are still blissfully happy..........We have discussed the problems sorrounding teens these days , and feel like our teens are not allowed or even encouraged to " grow up". They are stuck in an in-between stage for way too long. I feel that we ought to be preparing our teens for adulthood and marriage much much sooner rather than telling them that they are too young for marriage. We as Christians promote abstinance, and rightfully so.......but we also encourage our kids to wait until they are older to get married. I think it's simply unfair. Their bodies are ready for sex and marriage much sooner than most of us are ready for them to get married. We need to help them " grow up" sooner so that they can be adults and get married or have their own place much sooner.......
Posted by: Lisa | September 6, 2008 1:25 PM
Lisa,
Thank you for saying something that really needs to be said.
I couldn't agree with you more. Our culture has prolonged adolescence way beyond the pace at which we should be ready for real life and responsibility.
My oldest daughter and her husband married at 19. Twenty years later, they have a lovely family - five children and a sixth they will adopt this month from Guatemala.
My daughter worked and put her husband through school - her choice because she is a person who loves to work. Today that work involves homeschooling her children (her oldest - 15 - entered public high school this year) and organizing church events and neighborhood service. She is busy all the time and happy and fulfilled.
Lots of people thought we were crazy to "let" them get married. So glad we didn't listen to them!
I also have a good friend, Trish Goyer, who was a teen mom/young wife like Bristol whose life speaks for itself - read about her at http://www.thegoyers.com/about.html.
Posted by: barbara | September 6, 2008 1:57 PM
I was just blogging about this very thing -- that it's ridiculous to tell young Christians that they must put off their natural and God-given desires for love and sex for ten or fifteen years (or longer!) It may not be in God's plan for everyone to marry young, of course, but in that case we can trust that He will help them to wait. For the rest of us, we should take advantage of the blessed institution that He has created to satisfy those desires: marriage.
Posted by: Michelle Potter | September 6, 2008 2:21 PM
Wonderful post. WONDERFUL. I think I'll tape it to my office door on campus.
Posted by: Kalynne Pudner | September 6, 2008 6:53 PM
I'm so glad this was written. I know I often come off as defensive of my siutation, but it is because I am so often chastised for it by people who don't even know me.
I have been so thankful to have my husband during these past 4 years. We have been able to work together to achieve both our mutual and individual goals, and have been spared so much that is wrong with the college culture.
I'd like to say to that I think it is even better when a couple gets married before they "have to". We have good friends who got married right out of highschool because they knew they were ready and stood up to everyone who told them that they weren't. The wife put the husband through school, and he now has graduated and is working on his CPA. They were blessed to become pregnant with their first child during his last semester of college. They own a cute little house have a golden retriever in the back yard,and are some of the truest and most devoted Christians I know.
I think if we encouraged marrying young like this we would have fewer people like my husband and I who wanted to wait a bit to get married, but figured that we could be intimate since we were going to get married anyways. That view just brought on unneeded stress when we were rushing to bump up our wedding since I got pregnant.
Blah, I know I'm rambling Barbara, this issue just hits sooo close to home.
Posted by: lauren | September 7, 2008 10:46 AM
