September 26, 2008 7:49 AM
Everyday miracles for mothers
With kids now in public school (though I homeschooled once upon a time) and living in the country, I drive my kids to the bus stop each morning.
Today is pouring rain in northern Virginia - I love the rain! Justin is first out to catch the bus to Round Hill Elementary. Then I come back and get Jonny, Maddy, Jesse and Daniel, who take the same bus together because it stops at Blue Ridge Middle School and Loudoun Valley High.
So this morning, Justin and I were waiting in Big Moby - our 12-passenger burgundy Ford Club Wagon (down from the 15-passenger we had before our nest started emptying) with the Megamom license plate - praying for Daddy's knee to heal while we waited for the bus. I've never minded driving kids places or waiting for things to happen. In the close quarters of a car or van, that time is rich in togetherness. The car was off and we were soaked in the sound of the rain - like being wrapped in a cozy blanket.
Justin was sitting in the front passenger seat, which usually doesn't happen because of the air bag situation and his being too small. And of course it was just Justin and me - the other kids were back at the house still getting ready - so it is special and quiet just being together.
The quiet rhythm of the rain and the monochromatic gray outside and praying with a first grader was better than a few hours at the spa. At least, since I've never experienced a few hours at the spa, I'm guessing that it was better as I just felt so happy and peaceful and open to the day.
The bus came - and Justin, in his flannel-lined blue raincoat hoisted his Spiderman backpack and opened the door to let himself out to catch the bus. I opened mine and met him to give him his blessing and send him off.
As the bus beeped and flashed and took him off to school, I just sat there for a few minutes marveling at the miracle of children.
You know, those of us who spend a lot of time with children grow so accustomed to the miraculous adventure of raising them that we take it for granted. And a lot of time, the miracles are crowded out by the weight of responsibility and the concerns of the turmoil going on in the world.
But this is what it's really all about. And sometimes God reaches through the daily grind to illuminate an every day moment to help us see the richness and wonder of the way he created us: compared to animals we take a long time to grow up and learn all the things we need to learn. We are dependent. And that long period of dependence our children have gives us time for our hearts to be tenderized and for us to learn and grow to become better people than we start out to be.
You might find it puzzling that this moment of inspiration was sparked by Justin opening the door of the van to climb down to the road to walk to the bus. But then again, if you've found yourself similarly transported by an everyday occurrence, you'll understand.
You know how often I've discussed how essential it is to see the world through your children's eyes (and if you need a refresher course, read Montessori at Home #1). I've used this picture Maddy took of me at a produce stand on the road to Berryville to show you what I mean.
I know Justin has opened the door for himself countless times before, but this morning in one of those illuminating moments, I truly SAW what he was doing. I saw what it meant.
I mean, here is this little 60 pound kid in a passenger seat built for someone two or three times his weight, turning to open a door twice his height to slide down to a running board and then the ground at increments even I find more challenging than a car.
There's a confidence and faith in the way young children tackle these tasks - formidable to them and habitually overlooked by us - that speaks to me of the vast potential God has built into each of us to handle so much more than we give ourselves credit for. I think of Justin (who also happens to have Down syndrome) undaunted, unintimidated by the daily obstacles he faces.
Like buttoning his shirt - which took him 15 minutes to do this morning but which he never complained about. And which I resisted the impulse to help him with because I know it's in his best interest that I help him as little as possible.
How could I complain of the things that are set before me each day when I think of my children as an example - how God has built into them the desire to grow and achieve, to become independent and to serve others (when your two-year-old wants to sweep, help him learn to do it!).
And then I think how God continues the growth and learning through parenthood. As though He designed it that we would have a second chance now to SEE the miraculous process he has brought us through and how He has equipped us to tackle bigger responsibilities, to serve others more than we may have dreamed.
These are the feelings and thoughts that have been tumbling through my heart and mind as I listen to the laundry tumble in my dryer (my laundry room is just 12 feet away from my office - God certainly had a plan when he designed this house with us in mind, even though we rent it :)
I know you're as busy as I am. Just wanted to help you take a deep breath this morning and be filled with the knowledge that God loves you and has a perfect plan for you as a mother. You can trust Him daily to help you through every care and anxiety.
Just be prepared for these unexpected moments of illumination and when they come, try to stop everything to receive them as a gift from God - after all, we don't get pay raises, medals, awards or trophies. These moments may be harder to see but they are there and it's up to us to be ready to receive them.
"The soul should always stand ajar, ready to welcome the ecstatic experience."~Emily Elizabeth Dickinson~
Posted in Inspiration, Montessori, Mothering | Permalink
Comments
Oh, Barbara......
I started reading this and thought and felt that great big wonderful, "Ahhhhh", that comes from a much needed little morsel of wonderful chocolate.
And now, I have a few tears running down my cheeks.
What a beautiful little moment. I could picture it, especially having seen pictures of you and Justin.
Being surrounded by my children is all I've ever known, for over 14 years now. I sometimes tell people that we are a package deal.
You are so right in that it is both taken for granted and wonderful--sometimes all in the same hour of time.
When I have those illuminating moments, I sometimes hear music in my mind, almost like in a movie. It is so rich and so powerful, from such a simple little thing. It is so rich and gently obvious to me that I wonder if other people that might be around are seeing what I see and hearing the music, too. But, because it is from God, just for me, the whole thing is like we are we are in our own little private "bubble".
Doesn't it take time, away from the daily hustle and bustle, to see and fell these wonderful moments? I'm reminded to "take a breath" and enjoy it all. There's a wonderful old Margaret Becker song about this.
Do these moments happen when our children are adults? I do want my children to grow up, but I have wondered if their fulfillment of God's purpose in doing so will rob me of these wonderful moments. Do tell me.
The wonderful thing about your writing and posting this today is that right now dad and I feel like we're in a bit of a "tale spin". Our oldest needs major surgery in about seven weeks and will have a lengthy recovery. We're researching, talking with doctors and other parents who've been through this, preparing her (and us, too) mentally for what will happen, looking around our house and preparing for "down time", wondering if our younger children will get lost, etc, etc., etc.
We've already seen God at work as He is meeting needs and strengthening character.
On this day, when I'm feeling stressed and overwhelmed with all I have to do, it's nice to be reminded to take a breath and notice all of the wonderful illuminating moments.
It's pouring rain here, too. We might even have to stop in our busyness and put on the kettle for everyone's favorite hot tea.
Now, I'm going to be watching and listening more closely today as I conquer a huge "to do" list.
Thank you for sharing such a beautiful moment!
Posted by: von | September 26, 2008 10:49 AM
Thanks for taking the time to share this moment today. I'm sitting here soaking wet from a trip to the grocery store in the pouring rain here, tired and uncomfortable seven months into a pregnancy that's been more difficult than my first, with an energetic two-year-old Katherine running around the house getting into everything...
The encouragement to marvel in the miracle of children is just what I needed! As I take the time to notice, I realize K isn't being bad, she's actually wanting to make coffee for work-at-home daddy and is also trying to sweep the floor.
Posted by: Becky Miller | September 26, 2008 1:51 PM
thank you so much for sharing this. what a great reminder to just stop and look at the wonderful world God has created for us.
Posted by: Momma | September 26, 2008 2:08 PM
Thank you for this. I needed it so much today...
Posted by: Greta | September 26, 2008 7:02 PM
What a lovely post Barbara, and so true. Our days are brimming with everyday miracles like these. thank you for the reminder.
I've just looked at the old sweeping post and I love the chalk circle suggestion! I've been getting my five year old to sweep but he just sweeps this way and that and spreads the dirt around. The chalk is a simple and beautiful idea. I'm going to try that tomorrow.
Am including Tripp in my prayers for a speedy recovery.
Posted by: Clare | September 27, 2008 4:18 PM
Wow, what a powerful and beautiful post. Thanks for the reminder.
Posted by: Kansas Grandma | September 28, 2008 10:06 PM
