September 17, 2008 10:15 PM
New survivor series - men play mom - funny!
[Note to the Reddit Traffic coming in today: Why so serious? This is supposed to be funny!
Believe me, I know my husband works a lot harder than I do!
And while you're here, why not visit my archives on the subject of Boys, Fathers, and Fathers Day]
THE NEXT SURVIVOR SERIESSix married men will be dropped on an island with one car and 3 kids each for six weeks.
Each kid will play two sports and either take music or dance classes.
There is no fast food.
Each man must take care of his 3 kids; keep his assigned house clean, correct all homework, and complete science projects, cook, do laundry, and pay a list of 'pretend' bills with not enough money.
In addition, each man will have to budget in money for groceries each week.
Each man must remember the birthdays of all their friends and relatives, and send cards out on time--no emailing.
Each man must also take each child to a doctor's appointment, a dentist appointment and a haircut appointment.
He must make one unscheduled and inconvenient visit per child to the Urgent Care.
He must also make cookies or cupcakes for a social function.
Each man will be responsible for decorating his own assigned house, planting flowers outside and keeping it presentable at all times.
The men will only have access to television when the kids are asleep and all chores are done.
The men must shave their legs, wear makeup daily, adorn himself with jewelry, wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes, keep fingernails polished and eyebrows groomed.
During one of the six weeks, the men will have to endure severe abdominal cramps, back aches, and have extreme, unexplained mood swings but never once complain or slow down from other duties.
They must attend weekly school meetings, church, and find time at least once to spend the afternoon at the park or a similar setting.
They will need to read a book to the kids each night and in the morning, feed them, dress them, brush their teeth and comb their hair by 7:00 am.
A test will be given at the end of the six weeks, and each father will be required to know all of the following information: each child's birthday, height, weight, shoe size, clothes size and doctor's name. Also the child's weight at birth, length, time of birth, and length of labor, each child's favorite color, middle name, favorite snack, favorite song, favorite drink, favorite toy, biggest fear and what they want to be when they grow up.
The kids vote them off the island based on performance. The last man wins only if... he still has enough energy to be intimate with his spouse at a moment's notice.
If the last man does win, he can play the game over and over and over again for the next 18-25 years eventually earning the right To be called Mother!
Thanks, Shannon!
Comments
LOL...even I can't do all of that!
Posted by: Gwendolyn | September 18, 2008 8:14 AM
I think there should be an additional requirement...each man should be able to opt for - instead of having the week of cramps, etc. - having 40 extra pounds strapped to his belly, back aches, inability to sleep, constant need to pee, weird food cravings, and heartburn. I think it would make them a lot more sympathetic to their pregnant wives!
Posted by: Becky Miller | September 18, 2008 11:49 AM
am I the only mother who could not pass?
blessings, Penny Raine
http://penyraine.com/blog
Posted by: Penny Raine | September 18, 2008 11:58 AM
Thank you for this, just at the time of day that I was considering locking myself in a closet :)
Posted by: Danielle | September 18, 2008 12:39 PM
OMG!!! This is way too funny! Do you mind if I link back to you on this? I just have to share this post with all my friends!!
Posted by: Krystal | September 18, 2008 2:24 PM
Now this is one Reality Show I'd watch!
Posted by: Emmy | September 18, 2008 8:13 PM
Oh, yes! I've seen it before, but it is still funny.
My dh often wonders how I spend my time (although he is suspecting blogging more and more...) because when he takes over for a few days, he has time for a project or two PLUS what he considers to be my usual responsibilities. However, he is not attending meetings, volunteering, shopping, or trying to keep up with friends. Moreover, he is not attempting to do all of this with 60 extra pounds on his frame.
But I've discovered his secret: he just dumps the clean laundry on the floor and tells the kids to take their own and put it in their drawers. I can't bring myself to do that!
Posted by: kcinnova | September 19, 2008 7:17 AM
given those circumstances, none of the men would survive.......................
Posted by: colepack | September 19, 2008 8:02 AM
Only a woman could both create such a list and think it completely necessary to adhere to it.
Posted by: Chris Arsenault | September 19, 2008 3:35 PM
The father must also find The Science Project due that day with only 4 minutes remaining before the bus leaves the curb. Bonus points given if he finds it in un-mushed condition.
Posted by: BK | September 24, 2008 12:10 AM
I'm a single father of one. I do all of that and often have kids over from around the neighborhood that I take care of. I can go one step further than your ridiculous list - I've stopped dating because despite the fact that I desire to have a relationship, I'm not going to do that to my daughter by taking time away from her and confusing her with another mother in her life.
Posted by: PeterH | June 6, 2011 3:25 PM
Dear Peter -
It's not my ridiculous list but a reprint. It also is supposed to be funny. Since this was posted two years ago and yours is the second comment today - the first was unprintable - I assume that someone has linked here in a way to stir anger and resentment.
I applaud your purposeful fatherhood and especially your selflessness in putting your daughter first. As someone with 7 adult children, I promise you your sacrifice will pay off in terms of your relationship with her the rest of your life.
Best wishes to both of you!
Posted by: Barbara | June 6, 2011 4:06 PM
You're right, it's been being passed around online lately in a chainmail and someone listed this website as the source.
I get that it was supposed to be funny, but it's also a little insensitive. Your new disclaimer is appropriate, you're handling it well.
Posted by: PeterH | June 6, 2011 4:46 PM
The combination of the fact that, simultaneously, there is not enough money to pay the bills and and a need to adorn himself with jewelry is quite humorous. I guess the breadwinner needs to step up her game.
Posted by: JohnB | June 6, 2011 6:04 PM
The reason it's not funny, and why you are getting angry responses, is because it is a put-down of fathers who take care of their children just as well as mothers do.
It would be easy to write this 'joke' in reverse - just include some things women are stereotyped as being bad at, like fixing things, or being a CEO. It would also not be funny, and untrue, like yours is.
Posted by: Bob | June 6, 2011 6:15 PM
Ummm, Bob, there have been PLENTY of jokes about how bad women are at things. Actually, this is the one in reverse :)
Y'all need to lighten up and not take yourselves so seriously.
Seriously.
If you look around, you will find I have four great big grown-up sons and a great big grown-up husband who get a lot of praise on these pages. Why not indulge us poor women with the right to have a joke of our own?
But always glad to entertain visitors. Have a look at my Boys archive http://mommylife.net/archives/boys/ or Fathers archive http://mommylife.net/archives/fathers/
Posted by: Barbara | June 6, 2011 6:27 PM
