November 26, 2008 5:38 PM
Thanksgiving - our traditions
I never liked Thanksgiving growing up. I grew up in a home where Bloody Marys for the adults began a day of nonstop drinking, arguing, and possibly a fight tumbling out the front door and onto the lawn. It was a day I didn't look forward to.
A lot of the reason I write today is to share with people who grew up as I did - people without good parenting or strong family roots or meaningful holiday traditions - to share how Tripp and I yearned early on in our parenting to create a family with purpose and meaning. Becoming Christians in 1987, and then beginning homeschooling in 1990, we found the missing pieces to our spiritual and cultural heritage.
Thanksgiving is now a day of great importance to us - a day in which we try not only to carry on the traditions, but to make time to talk about them in a new and fresh way with our children. I know there are families out there who grew up with rich and meaningful Thanksgiving traditions and are passing these on to their children. But for those who may wonder exactly how to go about building a Thanksgiving legacy for their family, I just want to share what our day will look like tomorrow.
One thing different this year is that we will start the day by going to Mass as a family - except for Tripp of course, since he isn't up to it yet. Someone from our parish will come to bring him Communion after we get home.
Maddy is serving as cantor at the 9 am Mass tomorrow.
In the past, Tripp and I have started the day early before anyone else gets up - making the stuffing - I do a mixture of cornbread, wheat bread, sausage, mushrooms, celery, onions - and preparing the turkey which has been brined overnight.
Since Tripp cannot do this tomorrow, I'm going to ask one of the boys to help me. But because we have older, married kids whom we share with in-laws, we are on a tight schedule in the afternoon, so the turkey will have to be in the roaster before we leave.
So even now, I'm mentally preparing myself for this morning marathon of getting the turkey ready, getting the kids ready for Mass and getting out the door in time. Pray for me :)
After Mass we will move the table from the kitchen in to lengthen the dining room table, set the table for 21, decorate, and begin cooking.
The kids will probably watch the Macy's Day Parade because Maddy likes to do that. Josh and Hattie will arrive, then Kip and Samantha and six grandchildren. Then we will have the annual because-grandma/mom-says-so picture ordeal, where I set up my tripod and take pictures of each family and then all of us together.
In the meantime, Tripp will be enlisting different family members to read certain Bible verses for a family service he has planned. We will gather in the living room - no, actually this year it will probably be in our bedroom where Tripp's hospital bed is and which has become our temporary living room - and sing Thanksgiving hymns interspersed with scripture and the story of the Pilgrims. We will pray together.
Then our annual picture of us all at the table, followed by the mad last-minute scramble to do the last-minute things like mashing potatoes, making gravy from the drippings, sauteing mushrooms, heating rolls, slicing turkey and serving up the vegetables.
We'll start with grace - we usually sing Let All Things Their Creator Bless (last verse of All Creatures of Our God and King) - and then begin our meal. Like some of you with large families with lots of little kids, this is not a picture-book, pass-the-gravy type of event, but one where the adults first hover around the table serving the children who are too small to pass heavy bowls and platters, then finally serve themselves and plop down to enjoy a somewhat lukewarm meal.
But the most important part of the meal is not the food anyway - although that's pretty amazing with Sam's retro beans and Hattie's amazing cornbread pudding. The most important thing is the Five Kernels of Corn tradition which we've been doing for at least 15 years. Each person has five kernels of dried corn beside their plate to symbolize the year that followed the First Thanksgiving. Throughout the meal, we pass a special cup around and each person gives thanks for something while dropping in a kernel of corn. There is laughter and tears as we remember all that God has done and the people in our lives that mean so much to us.
When we started this, there were no grandchildren and our youngest children were too small to participate. What has been rewarding is to see the children grow and look forward to sharing their own individual thanksgivings.
I do hope some of you will consider adding this tradition to your Thanksgiving celebration/remembrance. It is a way to pass on to your children the specificity of gratitude and to show them what it really means and looks like to give thanks in all circumstances. This is something I hope my children will pass on to their own - long after Tripp and I are gone.
Josh and Hattie leave after dinner to see her family. Ben might go to visit Anna and her family. I will not go near the kitchen after dinner and will be able to enjoy the minor miracle of seeing it clean after a day of hard work. I am a very messy cook, unfortunately, but no one complains - fortunately.
Someone gave us four yummy pies yesterday, so we have those to look forward to for dessert.
This year I have so much to be grateful for. So many people have been helping us through this difficult time. On the other side of this setback, I know that Tripp and I will be all the richer for having become more closely knit into the Body of Christ, and more dependent on God.
How can I repay the Lord
for all his goodness to me?
O Lord, truly I am your servant. . .
you have freed me from my chains.Psalm 116: 12, 16
Posted in Family, My life, Thanksgiving | Permalink
Comments
I'm so glad that Kip and Samantha will be joining you! Have a wonderful, blessed day.
Posted by: Milehimama | November 26, 2008 7:35 PM
What a beautiful post, Barbara. I'm making note of several of your traditions...thanks for sharing. Wishing you and yours a wonderful Thanksgiving Day and may Tripp get better with each passing day.
Posted by: Betty Connally | November 26, 2008 7:53 PM
Happy Thanksgiving to all of you, Barbara!
Posted by: Julana | November 26, 2008 9:31 PM
God Bless your family today and always, Barbara.
Posted by: KatieButler | November 27, 2008 6:54 AM
