December 30, 2008 9:00 PM
Curtis family Christmas update
We had a lovely Christmas - so quiet and stripped down of unnecessary stuff. So designed to help us appreciate the things that are most important. Tripp is still clomping around with his crutches and straight leg. I know he's uncomfortable, but honestly, when I hear him coming down the hallway. I think I am in a Stephen King novel. It helps enormously that we can laugh about it :)
Having the kids home from college has been wonderful as the Big Boyz have taken care of some of the Daddy Track stuff like setting up the tree and putting on the lights. Also, because I am petrified of the rickety pulldown steps to the attic, making numerous trips up and down with our Christmas decorations.
We must have sent them up there a half dozen times to look for the Christmas stockings - which we ended up counting as gone forever. The only thing we can think is that they somehow ended up in an old suitcase we sent to Goodwill during our move/downsizing. Oh well, they were only stockings..... the kids got their new socks and toothbrushes and and other small items in shopping bags this year. Shhh! don't tell anyone. I'm becoming less a perfect mother every year.
So Christmas was quiet and we ended by watching It's a Wonderful Life - an almost annual tradition here, but I certainly wanted to catch it this year after our own Bailey Bailout from friends around the world. (Our deepest thanks for loving us through this time.)
This was our third Christmas without Jasmine and her family, but we are now used to their absence. Samantha and her family have spent Christmas with her father - who lives in Ohio - for many years with our blessing. Since we see them so often, I am happy that he can have this special time all his own. I have to say that no matter how God redeems your life, you still carry the consequences of the choices you made before you knew Him long after - and they serve as a motivation to me to help my children prepare for godly marriages, because it truly is awkward and strange to have your children know that you were married to someone else before you were married to their dad. And the issues the children form your sinful past have to work out remain so much beyond your control, in spite of the best intentions and the most abject apologies.
My girls were 6 and 13 when Tripp and I married. But though he was a wonderful father to them, though their dad and Tripp walked each of them down the aisle on either side, and though we never thought in terms of "half-sister" or "half-brother" - things are different now, The divide between my two sets of children is more apparent - caused by things beyond my control but for which I still pray. My first two children were born at a time in my life when I was emotionally ill and spiritually dead. While all three of us are incredibly blessed to have survived, I cannot hurry the process of forgiveness - nor am I entitled to it.
Still, time changes us and God is in the business of healing and restoration. Who would have thought that Matt would be home with us now and that we would be able to rebuild what seemed lost when he left home five years ago? Perhaps my favorite moment over Christmas was sitting down to a candlelit dinner Saturday night - after Maddy had cantored at the 5:00 Mass - Tripp and I at either end of the table and five children on either side. Ten in all, the 10 God has given us since 1983 through birth and adoption. Just the 12 of us. Matt home from work, Josh over to watch a guy movie with his dad and brothers.
And I realized that it was the first time in five years that the 12 of us had sat together like this. And with the future rolling ever onward - Ben and Anna marrying May 22 - it could be the last.
Life is full of precious moments like this. I remember many years ago having a revelation about this as I suddenly notided something was gone. One of our daughters had loved to dress up after dinner and sing and entertain us and suddenly I noticed that it had been a long time since she had done so - and just as quickly realized that it would never happen again. Oh, how I wished I could remember the last time!!! How I wished I had known!
We parents are so blessed by a God who is so generous in lavishing love on us through our children. We just have to be sure to treasure his postcards "Wish you were here!" - to linger over them, reading between the lines, trying indeed to be there every moment.
Sunday was Sophia's birthday. In contrast to the quiet, intimate dinner for 12 of the night before, we ended up with 30 people in our house as Samantha and Kip and kids came for our belated Christmas and various family/college/high school friends suddenly materialized to help celebrate Sophia's 19th birthday. I will not say it was controlled chaos, because it wasn't controlled at all. There was Frisbee Football on the front lawn (we still have not seen a flake of snow) and sword fighting of every variety - knight, pirate, Ninja - all over the house.
The last two days have been spent recuperating and trying to get the house back on an even keel. Today Jonny and Jesse went bowling with a group of kids sponsored by Adaptive Parks and Rec. Tomorrow I will take Sophia for a haircut/shopping trip/day out with Mom in honor of her birthday. We're trying to decide what move to watch for New Year's Eve. On New Years, we plan to take the family to see Bolt - of which I have heard nothing but praise - and have our traditional corned beef and cabbage for dinner.
Zach is leaving on new Years to go to Florida for a friend's wedding. Ben will leave this weekend to return to school. Tripp and I will be so sad to see them go, but Sophia is home until the 10th. Yippee!
The kids go back to school and I start my diet Monday. We have gotten so relaxed over vacation that even the little kids are sleeping in 'til 9. I'm trying to imagine getting up at 6:30 am again.
But I don't want to try to hard to imagine Back to Normal when we're having such a good time now.
Posted in Family, My life | Permalink
Comments
Barbara, This is a beautiful post! It is like reading from Laura Ingalls Wilder's books. Yes, the really precious times are the very simple times of just enjoying each other and knowing all things are pure gifts from God. Pure Grace. Heavenly.
Julie Klekas
Posted by: Julie Klekas | December 31, 2008 1:58 PM
Thanks for a reminder to enjoy the family times. We actually had all four kids climbing/jumping on our bed this Christmas season. My oldest son used to call this "Family Time". Since he is now 11 we might not have him doing that much longer. As it was, he suddenly seemed embarrassed and slunk off to a more comfortable chair after a very short while.
Posted by: Jane Duquette | December 31, 2008 6:27 PM
