January 31, 2009 2:31 PM
More thoughts on Ezzo and over-controlling parents
My recent posts on Ezzo and over-controlling parents don't sit well with moms who've had success with the Ezzo Program. Let me re-iterate a couple points:
*Any program that teaches parents to be rigid and unyielding is - in my opinion - not a godly program. At 60, I have been through 39 years of parenting - in addition to teaching in classrooms. I can now see that as a young mother/teacher, I thought that my relationship with my children was all about my teaching them. As a mature mother/grandmother, I can see that it's been about God teaching me to be more like Him and less like me in my approach.
*Any success mothers have had with Ezzo is due to the fact that their children have been compliant. But God did not make us from cookie cutters. Our job as parents is not to control our kids, but to observe, guide, lead, inspire, shape and role model for them. I like to think of children as gifts from God - we unwrap them to see what's inside and then tailor our lives to provide for opportunities to release the special individual qualities God has built into them.
*Comparing Ezzo to the Sears - Baby Wise vs. Attachment Parenting - is absolutely ridiculous. Dr. Sears and Martha are medical professionals (he a pediatrician, she a pediatric nurse) with eight children - including one with Down syndrome and one adopted. They are now grandparents as well. They have not a hint of scandal attached to their name. The Ezzos have no medical, psychological or theological training to warrant the status they have - through cultlike methods - accumulated for themselves. They have two daughters, now grown, who I understand have disassociated themselves from their parents' work. They have been excommunicated by church authorities, investigated by parachurch organizations. discredited by government and medical professional organizations. The Ezzo program is documented to have caused Failure-to-Thrive and dehydration in infants.
For the complete scoop on Ezzo - and I mean complete, including a timeline of all I mentioned above and more, see www.ezzo.info
The Ezzos have now taken their message into the even less-discerning secular market. That it sells well there only proves that it appeals to parents who want their child to fit around the parents' priorities rather than sacrificing to meet their child's unique needs. Many parents start out with the assumption that kids should conform to their parents' priorities and the will to control, but ideally we all grow into a more mature spiritual understanding that becoming a loving healthy family requires a paradigm shift.
Also important: parents form the child's first image of God. I don't know about you, but when I cry out to God, He is there. The last thing I want to teach a tiny, defenseless baby that he can cry and no one hears.
Or a toddler that he must sit on a blanket with a timer for a certain amount of time! While I am all for nurturing a toddler's God-given potential for self-control, I have written a lot about how to inspire that from within rather than imposing it from without.
I guess I've gotten to the age where I'm more concerned about warning parents of potential danger than in tiptoeing around people's feelings. If you used Ezzo and it worked, all I can say is if you have more children - and even if you don't - your parenting journey isn't over. If you consider yourself wiling to learn as a parent, then keep your mind and heart open. If your children are under 10, you have no idea what God will reveal to you in the years ahead.
I used to be a parent who knew everything too, but the older I got, the more I realized how little I knew.
The most important quality a parent - or child - can have is teachability. That's built on trust - trust between God and parent, parent and child. That trust begins when we answer a child's cry and meet his needs consistently the first year of life. Plenty of time for building independence later. In fact, a secure child will actually be more independent in the long run.
And it is the long run that's important after all - not whether you lose sleep every night for a year. That's just the beginning of the surrendering aspect of the parent's spiritual journey.
Posted in Babies, Mothering | Permalink
Comments
Thanks for posting about this!
Posted by: Pam | January 31, 2009 3:44 PM
Another way to be over-controlling is to tell people what method they should or should not use. As with most complicated issues, there are good points about the Ezzos' teaching, and bad. I used a bit of it, but rejected some as well, and changed my methods depending on the child. I'll add that I know people who are using this "attachment parenting" technique, which is just another fad, and I am equally disturbed about those who use it in its more extreme ways, especially Christians.
Do I think God wants my home to be centered around our marriage, and not around the children? Yes. In that, the Ezzos were on target. Do I think it's healthy (or even realistic) to communicate to my child that I'll be there for him every minute of every day, for every time he whimpers? No. I would do him a disservice as he approaches life. In that way, AP is wrong, IMO. If I want to raise independent,confident children, I'm not going to do the baby-wearing thing until they're 3.
So, we should be cautious and discerning, and not rigid in our use of either approach.
Posted by: mary kathryn | January 31, 2009 4:01 PM
I mentioned this on the other thread, but I'll say it again: I highly reccomend " Secrets of the baby whisperer" by Tracy Hogg... This book is more of a " loose" type of scheduling, and learning to discern baby's needs. It can be a blessing to the whole family, while not being rigid. I suffered through the night waking issue for too long with my 2 older children, almost to the point of being depressed from lack of sleep.
I almost caused a car wreck when my 2nd child was an infant, due to being so tired. Before the birth of my 3rd, my DH and I read the baby whisperer and found it to be just the advice we needed. Tracy Hogg, now deceased from breast cancer, helped many parents over the years with learning to discern their baby's needs, and get them on a "loose" schedule that helps them sleep through the night from a younger age.( Something I did not know was possible!) This book helped me tremendously with my 3rd and 4th babies. It helped several of my friends as well.
Posted by: Lisa | January 31, 2009 4:02 PM
Barbara,
I haven't kept up with comments because I read you via Google Reader, but I'll go take a peek now. I just want to thank you for posting this information. I agree with you wholeheartedly, and it took having my own babies to teach me that.
Posted by: Amanda | January 31, 2009 4:40 PM
Well-said as usual, Barbara. I'm embarrassed to admit I bought "Babywise" after having my second. (My first was very compliant--the second, not at all, and I naively was trying to figure out "what I'd done wrong" this time!) I tried the feeding schedule, which included nursing on only one side at a time, and nearly lost my milk entirely. Fortunately, that alone was enough for me to throw their book in the trash, so I didn't pursue and frankly can't even remember any of their other ideas.
The whole issue of baby and child "manuals" is an interesting one. I'm a big reader, and over the years I admit I've been sucked into a very wide range of parenting books, many of which contradict one another. My middle child has been labeled everything from "sensory seeking" to "strong-willed," and I'm sure someone will try the ADHD label at some point. (I've done a lot of research, and I know in my heart she is not the last, so I'm ready to do battle on that one should it come up.) You wouldn't believe the contradictory advice on how to parent a child like this! Everything from superstrict limits to letting them hang out in their PJ's all day...and my personality is so different from hers that I have trouble trusting my own instincts. Barbara, if you have expertise in parenting this type of child, I hope you'll share it sometime.
Your own books remind me of Brazelton's and Sears'--the voice is kind, experienced, and trustworthy.
Posted by: Kathi | January 31, 2009 5:59 PM
To Mary Kathryn (and others): It is possible to take any principle, no matter how wonderful, to extremes. Tired, sleep-deprived, and stretched beyond anything we've experienced before, it's possible to ignore our own needs until they hit us in the face -- through car accidents, mastitis, deep exhaustion, or other means. Any parenting relationship involves at least two people -- the child and the parent -- and both have needs, desires, and a limited ability to understand the needs and desires of the other. Both people need respect and a responsive desire to meet their needs from the people around them and from each other (to the extent that this is possible for them -- a newborn doesn't know much of anything about anyone other than himself, and even that is hard to figure out at times!).
I've seen attachment parenting principles carried to unhealthy extremes. But this is the exception!!! I had to move my son out of the parental bed long before he was ready to go, because he was the sort of sleeper no one else could sleep with and I was starting to walk into walls. I know that Dr. Sears would support my decision if he knew about it; safety and real physical needs come before emotional needs (which is why any sane attachment-parenting parent will buckle their child into a car seat, no matter how much the child screams about it). But he also gave me the understanding of my child's need for my presence that allowed me to make that decision with the fullest possible knowledge of its implications.
Mr. Ezzo provides programs for parents to apply to their children, with explanations and justifications that sound reasonable until you learn about real early childhood development (and enough real truth to keep you confused and guessing). Dr. Sears provides you with information about children, suggestions of what other parents have found useful, and permission to do what works best for your family. The differences are immense, and the choice, for me, is clear.
Newt
Posted by: Newt Sherwin | January 31, 2009 7:37 PM
Wow! I didn't mean to stir up such a controversy!
I guess one was already there, it just hasn't been brought up in awhile.
My original e-mail to Barbara was very emotional. I was throwing away alot of expectations and while that was hard, it was also incredibly freeing. Babywise felt like bondage to me, so what you read from me was a mom saying, "Okay God, your yoke is light right? This may be hard but it won't be bondage. I don't care if my baby never sleeps through the night!"
:D
And at 7 months, she has slept long stretches, but never through the night. :D And so far, we're doing okay. The house is not as clean as I would like it to be, because I take a nap during the day, but we're having fun and we do have a routine, just not a strict schedule.
There have already been really awesome articles written about why schedule feeding *especially* for breast fed babies is not good so I won't get into that.
All I can say, is when someone recommended Babywise to me, they said "If you follow it, it WILL work".
This is after she had one baby. One child. That's right. She swears by the book and that it will work for everyone after she has had one kid.
This is a dear friend of mine, don't get me wrong. And I actually think that it is Ezzo's tone that leads to these kind of statements. Oh, and just so everyone knows, I read the book twice. I know what's in there! This is not secondhand criticism!!
That kind of attitude is what made me think that I had to do it. That there was some sort of a failure on my part if it didn't work. That I was a bad mom if my baby didn't conform to the schedule.
It was such bondage. And I'm sorry, this is a man writing the book and who is not a doctor. What the heck does he know about breastfeeding?
Anywho, I'm sorry that this created a heated debate, but I'm not sorry I abandoned the book. If God wanted us to follow something so rigidly, he would have included it in His book.
So I'm not saying no one should do it. But because of the risks you have to really be careful.
For me, the possibility of a FTT baby, loss of milk supply or even minor dehydration was enough to convince me to throw it out. That, and with the God given wisdom that Barbara had written on her blog so many years ago.
If I cry out to Him, He comforts me. Something as silly as whether or not to feed on a schedule has ended up influencing my entire parenting philosophy. Instead of asking what others do, I am more likely to reflect on how God parents me and respond in turn.
Again, thank you Barbara for your original post. It helped me when I was in great distress.
Debra
Posted by: Debra | January 31, 2009 7:46 PM
Thanks for continuing to write about this. I actually found your blog soon after I had my first baby, and after Ezzo had been highly recommended to me by a family member. I never bought the books, but the method just didn't sit right with me, and I knew that I wanted to be able to listen to my inner mothering voice. As my family member described crying in her bed as her newborn babies cried themselves to sleep in another room, I knew that I wanted something different. Luckily, thanks to you and other voices that are critical of Ezzo, I felt empowered to choose attachment parenting, and continue to choose it even as some in the family pressure us to adapt more Ezzo-like approaches. It has been a wonderful joy, and while I imagine our children will never be as "obedient" as some others, they will be curious, imaginative, and, above all, feel deeply loved-- and therefore be able to love others more deeply.
Posted by: Adele | January 31, 2009 7:47 PM
I don't think that anyone is arguing that Ezzo does not work. It can work beautifully. The problem with it as "a stick to it" parenting method is that the downside can have serious consequences to the children.
Using corporal punishment with kids can work just fine too. Many times it get results much quicker and many kids have grown up to be fine adults despite it. The problem is that if it gets out of hand, it can truly be a disaster. There are parts of the Ezzo approach that can be misunderstood and problematic to the point of harming the health of a baby when used.
Because I was always juggling so many things and have 5 kids, I tried to have some sort of a schedule with my babies. Somehow, they were slowly and gently put into a sleeping, feeding schedule so that we could keep the household going. It was more difficult with some of the kids than others. One of the challenges with parenting is that following any method to the every detail is not going to be the best thing for every baby. Any advice that does not recognize this is not complete.
My SIL was a big advocate of breast feeding. It was a huge shock to her when it was discovered that her baby was allergic to her milk and it was causing a lot of issues. That inflexibility really made life miserable for the family and baby for several months, as she could not look at breast feeding as a possible cause for the problems until it was absolutely proven. It is a rare thing to have that allergy, and she is usually not inflexible about things.
Posted by: Cath Young | January 31, 2009 9:20 PM
Another poster wrote: "I'll add that I know people who are using this "attachment parenting" technique, which is just another fad, and I am equally disturbed about those who use it in its more extreme ways, especially Christians."
We are Christian. We used attachment parenting, which I learned about via La Leche League. Attachment parenting is not a fad. It's what most of the world does. Co-sleeping is only abnormal in the U.S.
We chose to breast-feed on demand and co-sleep. Yes, I was tired, but I've never met a mother of little ones who wasn't. We still disciplined, and let our kids know who the boss is (us and God).
As I like to say, "The proof is in the puddin'." I now parent two secure, lovely individuals, ages 12 and 14. They never had to scream themselves into hysteria when going to sleep, nor did they ever go with an empty tummy when they were mere infants. Very little discipline is now required, because they were given such a strong foundation of love and trust when they were young. I enjoy them more than anything.
Ezzo is child abuse. There, I said it. I looked into the method when my 12yo was a baby, and could not believe that Christian parents (and especially mothers) would buy it.
Flame away.
Posted by: Claire in CA, USA | January 31, 2009 9:33 PM
Thank you, Barbara. I feel the same way. Kudos to you for saying it...
Posted by: Holly | January 31, 2009 9:40 PM
Thank you, Barbara, for being willing to wade into this murky water.
I'd like to add another dimension to your statement about "Any success mothers have had with Ezzo. . ." is due to loving mothers actively involved with their infants and children -- not the core principles that Ezzo teaches.
Actively involved, loving mothers will find connection and degrees of "success" regardless of which ideas are informing them. Then again, being involved and loving will not prevent against (all) the problems related to Ezzo parenting -- controlling mindsets, milk supply issues, delayed growth.
As a been-there-done-that mom, I do recommend parents who are using or considering using the ideas from Babywise to read through the Voices of Experience. Even if you choose to implement the Ezzo ideas, at the minimum you will have the benefit of other parents' experiences and be able to (hopefully) troubleshoot problems that arise earlier in the game.
Posted by: TulipGirl | January 31, 2009 10:30 PM
I followed the Babywise thing very loosely with great success It saved me from sleep deprivation and wildly unhappy, sleepy children. I just could not figure things out until we were on some sort of schedule. However, I disagree with much of the Ezzo's statements other than the schedule. I prefer the book "My First 100 Babies" Attachment parenting had no appeal to me as my husband comes first. We never ignored real needs of our children during the night but never needlessly gave in either.
Posted by: Laura | January 31, 2009 10:42 PM
Wow, what you have written is EXCELLENT. We are homeschooling our 9 children now. I was the oldest of 14 and my mom homeschooled the 12 youngest. Although we were Catholic, my mother had and still has this very same mindset. She could have written the Ezzo system herself. Well, the inside scoop on my siblings is that most all of them ran away from home at 18, fell into very bad ways of living, and have deep resentment/hate for my mom. It's all about respect and rules STILL to her and she is a very broken woman. On the other hand, our oldest is now 21 and we practiced attachment parenting with boundaries...of course! I apologize sometimes to my older children when they come to me with past hurts. I am not the almighty parent my mother claims to be and the funny thing is that my kids love me and their hearts are in the right place. I have found that with love we can do most anything with a child's heart. Thank you for having the courage to stand up against something that will create a mindset which will destroy a family. I have surely seen it happen and it is utter devastation.
Posted by: Anne | February 1, 2009 2:05 AM
I also respectfully disagree with the poster who said that "AP is just a fad"
AP was the norm in biblical times! BF'ding until 3 was the norm, and mama's carried their babies everywhere until they were old enough to help with work. Co-sleeping was also common. I'd hardly call that a fad. AP is only a new thing in the US.
Like ANY method, AP can be taken to odd extremes. But how many FTT and miserable babies can be attributed to AP?
I did the "cry it out" method with my second child. I deeply regret it. Deeply. I have never done that since, and all of my children are well-adjusted and none of them are clingy and insecure.
Posted by: Sandy | February 1, 2009 6:38 AM
I wrote about our rejection of Growing Kids God's Way in my newspaper column. It still irks me that the Ezzos market a product as "God's Way" when it should be called "Ezzo's Way." We felt it was one of many factors in leaving our church--we would be definitely seen as "failures" for rejecting what they were teaching was God's way. What does that many any other way? Satan's way? I mean, really. The one-size-fits-all approach to parenting is wrong. I might be able to learn something from Ezzo or Dobson or Sears or Ann Landers, for that matter--but none of them are the ultimate authority.
Posted by: Leslea M. Harmon | February 1, 2009 11:56 AM
I've been reading all about the Ezzo issues today. My heart breaks for all of the children that have been inadvertantly harmed by the program.
I think the biggest issue with Babywise is that some children naturally fall into the sort of schedule that Ezzo promotes. So, as naturally, parents of these children think that the program is great and don't understand how it can be so horrible for other children.
After reading a lot of parenting books, I've settled into a very flexible parenting style. We've naturally fallen into a pattern as a family, but it wasn't something that was forced.
It breaks my heart to think of all of the mothers who are worried they'll spoil their children if they "give in" to feeding demands. I know that these mothers are just trying to do what is best for their children, I was one of them, but Babywise is not best!
Posted by: lauren | February 1, 2009 3:05 PM
Wow. It seems pretty obvious that when an infant cries it is because he has a need, not because he is trying "manipulate" his mother. Physiologically, an infant's stomach is the size of his fist. To deny him food because a mother "needs" to sleep through the night is simply cruel. It seems weird to me that any one would boast about an XX-week old baby sleeping through the night.
I have read Barbara's books and gotten a lot out of them. Even though I disagree with Barbara on other matters, it is so obvious she knows what she is talking about when it comes to children. Perhaps the much younger (and therefore much less experienced) commenter might want to read them. Barbara talks a lot about teaching a child self-control, as part of a child reaching his overall potential. That is not to say she is against traditional discipline -- she also talks about that as well, when there are clearly defined expectations, i.e. "rules," for the child.
I know women who have done the Ezzo thing and have profound regrets now because they feel they neglected their infants. Barbara is just trying to warn other mothers so they do not suffer this kind of guilt. Within Christian circles, there is a lot of pressure to "discipline" and I see her advice as a helpful counterpoint, not an effort to "control" or attempt to dictate to others.
Posted by: Michele | February 1, 2009 4:17 PM
I have not read through all the replies here, but I had to throw in one more thing about single side breastfeeding...I was able to do that with my 3rd child...but ran into big problems with my 4th. All of my babies were breastfeed, but the 4th one gave me a run for my money. He just could not do it right. I prayed hard, and made many trips to the lactation consultant. She reccomended that I give my baby BOTH sides. In the end, it all worked out, with baby feeding on BOTH sides. I am not sure why it worked out that way, but sometimes you just gotta go with the flow, pun intended. Breastfeeding is a gift.
Posted by: Lisa | February 1, 2009 4:53 PM
There are some babies that need much more structure than others. Attachment parenting would show that very quickly. In such cases, a parent would work to get a child on schedules, and Ezzo could be very helpful, maybe even the exact right thing. However, babies can be very different and even those who need schedules and some alone time do are not necessarily best served by some arbitrary schedule that is supposed to be one size fits all. The tough part about parenting is finding the best fit for your child. Finding perfect fitting shoes is a lot easier than finding the perfect way to parent a child, and some kids are just easier than others, whereas some are more difficult. The "best" way to go is not much help to a parent who has a child for whom it is not only NOT the best way but harmful.
Posted by: Cath Young | February 1, 2009 10:55 PM
I haven't read through all the comments, but here are my thoughts (with only three children). I used Babywise (or GKGW, although I found Babywise to be better) to some extent with all three kids. And I do recommend it, with some caveats. Obviously, moms have to be sensitive to their kids. Crying signals need. Duh. But I don't believe that all crying needs to be met with feeding. Some crying just needs to happen, although I don't think babies should be ignored. I needed to schedule. I am a very routine-oriented person who had a very hard time adjusting to being a mother. I needed to know I could get a shower, take a nap, go out for the evening. And whoever babysat my kids always said they were the easiest kids to watch (and they are all very healthy!). My kids are happy, well-adjusted and secure in their mother's love. I was always affectionate.
Not surprisingly, I got looser with each child. I have to say, though, that if I had encountered someone like you when I was a first-time mother, I might have been more influenced to parent that way. As it was, I read the Sears, but absolutely could not handle attachment parenting. Especially with my first child, I needed my space. And I watch too many moms who are exhausted and ruled by their babies nursing every 20 minutes to still not think that some scheduling is good. Balance is always key. (And I never single-side nursed. What is that all about?)
I liked what the Ezzos said about building moral character. I still expect first-time obedience. We're all happier when that happens. I spank, too, although not as a last resort when I'm angry. In fact, I don't spank at all if I'm angry. Spanking is a specific punishment for a specific crime, which is rebellion and direct disobedience.
I don't know, I guess. I think that in a culture which hates rules and doesn't want anyone to be in charge, it is important that Christian children learn to obey their parents, since that's where they learn to obey God. But my children know that even when I punish them, it is in love. It is love that does not allow them to eat candy for dinner, stay up too late or be disrespectful. It is love that teaches them that there are times for eating, times for playing and times for sleeping. Maybe it's just all in how we implement the standards. I don't think the Ezzos are perfect, but I don't think they're evil, either.
Anyhoo, it's good think about all this stuff. I'm past the baby stage with my kids, but I'm still raising them and always learning about how to best guide my kids and train them to love God.
Posted by: Lucy | February 1, 2009 11:42 PM
I think the thing that bugs me about Ezzo, not necessarily the parents who do Babywise, is that he builds up straw men with AP. I'm not a full APer, but I do demand feed and semi co-sleep. Just because I demand feed does not mean we eat every 20 minutes. We eat about every 2 hours or so (give or take)and I don't find that to be exhausting. On the contrary, I find it a nice break in my day. Every two hours or so I'm going to get to sit down with my little one and snuggle, drink some water, etc.
I do think moms have to let go of some of their expectations. Will your house be spotless? No. I try to just get dishes done and laundry. If that's all I get done in a day, so be it. Dusting, mopping, vacuuming will get done eventually, but it's not going to happen all the time. I let go of my need for a perfect house when I was on bedrest for 12 weeks. It's just not as important to me now. But when Gretchen gets old enough we will do it all together and I'm sure our house will look nice some day! :D
Oh, and as for single sided breastfeeding, I had to do that because of oversupply issues. Once we got my supply worked out and my baby got a little bigger, we were able to do both sides. Usually when moms just do one side it's because of a small baby stomach or because of oversupply/strong letdowns.
Posted by: Debra | February 2, 2009 8:24 AM
Lucy, I don't think anyone is saying that kids shouldn't have a routine or shouldn't be diciplined.
With my son we sided more towards BW and with my daughter we're more AP. However, they're only 3 years apart so when it comes to the realities of day to day parenting, they're both on the same schedule.
The difference I've found with feeding on an AP demand feeding basis vs a BW schedule is that with AP we worked into a daily routine together, where as with BW I imposed the routine. I think BW worked fine with my son's personality, but my daughter has a much greater need for physical contact than my son ever did and she gets a lot out of short comfort nursing sessions a few times a day.
She doesn't sleep through the night because it became immediately apparant that she needs the night time feedings. She has a small stomach and I have a small milk capacity, so greatly spaced out feedings just don't work for us. That's ok. We both get adequate sleep, I just roll over a couple of times a night to nurse. I know there will come a time when she can go the entire night without nursing, but we're not yet to that point and that's ok.
She's only 7 months old right now, but as she ages we will have the same expectations for her that we've had with her brother. She'll be required to say please, thank you, and the rest, and obey our commands. Just because we're more flexible with her eating and sleeping doesn't mean we intend to raise her as a little hellion who runs the house.
She is a joyful and content child and we are well rested, happy parents. Our son has some issues stiming from his prematurity, so he definitely has more frustrations, but he is bright and compassionate and very much strives to overcome his dificulties. We have good friends who use a baby wise type system and also have joyful content child. I think the key is finding what works best for each individual child.
Posted by: lauren | February 2, 2009 10:53 AM
I was raised very much in the genre of the Ezzos. My parents loved all three of us very much, and are devoted Christians. Let me be honest, and this is hard for me to say but, we turned out terribly. We could absolutely convince you that we were wonderful Christian children/young adults/adults, but that's what it was, a superficial appearance. We learned to “obeyâ€, deceive and manipulate. We did not learn transparency, honesty or self control. To this day, my parents believe they were right. They have been blinded. Praise Jesus, my Master and Savior, that as an adult, He showed me what I truly was, and then picked me up. I still struggle, but He has brought into my life mentors to guide me in my parenting: the Sears and Barbara Curtis. I owe them a huge debt of gratitude. My children owe them more than they could ever know. I have had the great honor to speak with my mentors, and was deeply touched by one particular thing: their humility. Therein lies a profound lesson to be learned.
I am a happy Mama because I am becoming more and more self-LESS. I am even now, being taught by Christ, to give up my rights, my ugly entitlement, and there I am finding joy. It is unpopular in our culture of self to be last. I have a baby son who has needed me to hold him every night, all night, for the last 5 months as he heals from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder related to a surgery. I am criticized by some for what I do, and yet, there is peace knowing that I am caring for my son as my Father cares for me. I have learned wonderful lessons. He giveth more grace. I am tired, but joyful. And ultimately, to my criticizers, I ask them to realize what I already know. God gave *me* this son because He knew *I* was the one who could care for him like no other. I know that about you and your children too.
Posted by: Greta | February 8, 2009 10:45 PM
