January 19, 2009 12:38 PM
Why men are never depressed - further thoughts
In response to Why men are never depressed, Chuck left the following comment, which I thought was pretty funny/sad/cynical/wistful - and worth a read:
A response from an old married man:WHY (women think) MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED:
Men (appear to be) Just Happier People--
The garage is all yours. (and all the projects in it are also ours to complete)
Wedding plans take care of themselves. (Because we know that all the work starts the moment the wedding is over).You can never be pregnant. (And it can never happen without us and we cannot stop it from being ended prematurely)
Car mechanics tell you the truth. (Because the mechanic wants to see you cry when he tells you the amount)
The world is your urinal. (The oceans, seas and rivers are the urinals of seafood, and yet we still eat it so lets no go there)
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. (Because we constantly receive reminders from projects stored in the garage ( see above)
Wrinkles add character. (And subtract years from our lives)
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. (Because the spare tire around your waist eclipses the size of your chest)
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. (Because we only get them after the wife and children get their new shoes and the only ones we can afford are on the deep discount table and are usually 3 sizes too big)
One mood all the time. (Tired from trying to please everyone)
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. (In case the wife or the children's school is trying to call, we keep the line open)
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. (The family car has a finite amount of space and that is all that is left for us)
You can open all your own jars. (They are not all our jars and we don't like to see the wife and kids go hungry)
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. (And extra credit for the slightest act of cruelty or negligence)
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. (see New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet for the shoes)
You never have strap problems in public. (Ever heard "Your fly is open?")
Everything on your face stays its original color. (It was ugly to begin with and we know there is no changing that)The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. (Assuming you can keep the hair you had years or decades ago)
You only have to shave your face and neck. (Have you ever tried to shave your own back?)
You can play with toys all your life. (It isn't that much fun playing with the 1to1 scale toy car, lawn mower, saw or hammer that women seem to think it is)
One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons. (And we get a new wallet and new shoes once a year because we need new ones, not because we want new ones)You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. (Women won't let you if you really shouldn't, even if you want to)
You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. (Have you ever tried to nail a shingle to your roof with a pocket knife OUCH!)
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes. (Because that is all the time we have after trying to be with and enjoy the season with our family and keep our job and get all the gifts that we already know our wife and children REALLY want)
No wonder men are happier. (Men just let women think that to keep women happier)
Thanks, Chuck - maybe we can designate you the MommyLife Resident Old Married Man, just for a little extra perspective :)
Posted in Humor, Marriage | Permalink
