February 4, 2009 7:57 PM
Happy 21st Birthday, Zach!
Today is Zach's 21st birthday!
And since I can't get him on the phone, I guess I'll have to wish him Happy Birthday here.
Also, since on this day 21 years ago I labored to bring him into the world, I'm going to take the liberty of talking about him. I think knowing a little more about Zachary will give other mommies - even if you're still in the throes of trying to get a good night's sleep - something sweet to build your dreams on.
Zachary was the fourth of a string of boys born within five and a half years. Sophia was born two years later (that's his adoring sister in the photos old and new). When he was two months old, we moved from the suburbs to the country. A couple weeks later, I broke my arm while flying a kite (that's another story. . . ) and had a cast from my knuckles to above my elbow. Not exactly the cuddliest situation.
Zachary was a quiet baby - so quiet I would have worried about him if I hadn't been so busy unpacking with one arm. He loved the mobile of yellow duckies above his changing table and would flail his arms and legs in appreciation of them. I'd stand by, camcorder in hand, for half an hour at a time waiting for some sound to emerge - you know, talking to the yellow duckies. But Zachary was a man of few words.
He always looked like he was doing some serious thinking.
He was a very late reader. I had taught my other kids to read by four or five, using the very simple but effective Montessori method (in my book Ready, Set, Read!) but for Zachary, reading didn't click until he was seven or so.
Being the youngest, Zach often found himself with the fuzzy end of the lollipop. Then he'd track down Tripp or me to announce with great seriousness: "Mom, Dad, I have to report that my brothers will not let me participate, though I'm perfectly qualified to play the game they're involved in."
By nine - just two years afer he started reading - he was reading heavy tomes about ancient and modern warfare, biographies of famous leaders like Winston Churchill and Attila the Hun. He had a deep voice and spoke in a dreary monotone - kinda like Eeyore.
And he had a stutter - which would disappear for a while only to return.
Not wanting to give it too much energy, I came up with a plan and stuck to it for five years, watching the stutter come and go. And then one day when Zachary was 10 or so, I wondered when the was the last time I'd heard it. Like so many other problems, this was just another one that "came to pass" - not to stay.
Zachary turned out to be so intelligent, that at 12 he scored 1020 on the SATs. At 13 he passed the California High School Proficiency Exam and enrolled in college.
But when we moved to Virginia, he and his brothers went into public high school. Zach ended up graduating only a year early at 17. He was the only National Merit Scholarship finalist out of his class of 363. (SATs now 1520) I was so proud of him! And still am! This year he will graduate from Liberty University with a major in computer science. He is hoping to go into the Marines through Officers Candidate School.
Like all the Curtis kids, he's got a good set of pipes - but after playing a Jet in West Side Story in 2002, he hung up his theater shoes for good.
He's a guy with a lot of self-discipline when it comes to the physical - a daily runner, great swimmer, martial arts practitioner, and fierce rugby player.
So, please don't judge me harshly for bragging so long and so loud about this very special son. For one thing, I want mommies out there to know how important it is to relax when your kids are young and not get hung up about problems like stuttering. When I look back, I realize Zach's little brain was probably just going so fast he couldn't get everything out.
And I also offer Zachary as evidence against the charge some people make that kids from big families are dumbed down because of lack of attention from their parents. Zach was 6th of 12 - right in the middle. When he was four, Jonny was born with Down syndrome and a bunch of medical problems that kept us going in and out of the hospital for 15 months. When Zach was 5, Madeleine was born. When Zack was 7 we adopted another baby with Down syndrome. Mama started writing. Then two more adoptions. It's not like we were grooming him to be what he turned out to be.
But, I believe -
That when God plants something special in one of his creations, it will rise to the surface despite the soil. I grew up in a very undesirable, neglectful environment. But like Zach, I skipped grades. And was also a National Merit Finalist. Zach and I have something else in common - we're both ENTJs :)
Then too, the thing is not to get hung up on intelligence as the most important gift. I have other children who are gifted singers or extraordinary parents or just plain wonderful human beings, full of kindness and character.
Mommies, this is what it's all about - receiving each child as though God has given us a very special gift - not planning who or what they will become, but unwrapping carefully to see what God has placed inside, then doing our best to help them realize their potential.
I sure liked what we found as Zach was unwrapped!
I love you, Birthday Boy! And this is what you get for not calling home :)
Comments
Happy Birthday to Zach! When they are still young, and we are struggling with something it can be so easy to lose heart. Thank you for the wonderful reminder -- I really needed that.
Posted by: Sue | February 4, 2009 10:10 PM
Congratulations to Zach on his 21st! The same for you and Tripp, for having such a wonderful son. Our second turned 22 yesterday, and he too will be graduating from college this year. I was thinking about him as I put together a birthday basket for him, and wondering where the time went. It does go so quickly, doesn't it?
Posted by: Cath Young | February 4, 2009 10:39 PM
Barbara,
Happy Birthday to Zach! And thanks for your wisdom and insight. I sent this quote to my husband...
"Mommies, this is what it's all about - receiving each child as though God has given us a very special gift - not planning who or what they will become, but unwrapping carefully to see what God has placed inside, then doing our best to help them realize their potential."
We have been feeling the weight of responsibility too heavily with our 18 yr old. Sometimes we lose sight of the fact that we are NOT the creators, we are NOT in control. We are merely here for support, by God's grace. We can't force him to fit our mold. He is uniquely who God created him to be. I needed this reminder. Thanks so much!
Beckie
Posted by: Beckief | February 5, 2009 8:07 AM
Barbara,
One of my kids is having a lot of trouble reading, but she is 10..... your article really helped me put it into a better perspective than I had yesterday. Thanks! ~B
Posted by: B | February 5, 2009 9:12 AM
Happy birthday Zach. God bless you today and always.
Posted by: Greta | February 5, 2009 4:18 PM
AH, Barbara! You have such a contagious love for motherhood, and such a great way of thinking outside the box! Happy ( belated) Birthday to Zach...He's sounds like an awesome dude!
Oh, and Barbara:
As always, thank you for a perspective that stretches my thinking...
Posted by: Lisa | February 5, 2009 5:23 PM
Happy Birthday, Zach. You are obviously one special guy in a very special family!
Posted by: Holly | February 5, 2009 6:16 PM
