March 4, 2009 8:33 AM
Baby with Down syndrome - what do you do? What do you say?
You say congratulations!
The impulse to say "I'm sorry" or to express pity for the parents is just not appropriate. We are celebrating a life, after all - a life God created just the way He intended. Down syndrome is not caused by a birth accident, but by an extra chromosome, which in almost all cases is found in every cell of the baby's body.
If you know someone who has had a baby with Down syndrome - or any other disability - educate yourself as much as possible. Google and spend at least half an hour trying to understand what Down syndrome is. I can't tell you how angry I felt when someone would ask if my child had Down syndrome because I'd smoked too much marijuana. With the Internet and all the resources available today, there is no excuse for this kind of ignorance.
Keep in mind that our culture teaches us to be locked in fear about having a child with Down syndrome by pushing prenatal testing and abortion as a "solution" to what some parents refuse to think of as a problem.
Yes, having a child with Down syndrome can be challenging. There is more work involved. But my family's experience - and that of so many families who've had the privilege of welcoming a baby with Down syndrome - is that it is a life-changing journey that they would not trade for the world. Ask my grown-up kids - they'll tell you the same thing!
So what do you do when when someone you love has a baby with Down syndrome? Resist the impulse to say "I'm sorry" or to approach the situation with pity or a mournful aspect. If the baby has health issues, then promise to pray.
Smile! Say Congratulations! Embrace the parents! Hold the baby and admire the beautiful little face and features of a child who will bring great blessings to the family and to the community!
Celebrate! This is a life that is worthy and wonderful!
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You can find lots more information by clicking on Categories above, then clicking on Down syndrome. Also, see my Mother/Child photo album (where you will find the photo of Kimberly and Charlie above) or my album of my son Jonny - who will be 17 on March 31 and whose birth spurred us to eventually adopt three more boys with Down syndrome.
Posted in Down syndrome | Permalink
Comments
Great post. I think this type of information is just good general knowledge as we never know when we will be confronted with information about a new baby that is out of the ordinary.
Posted by: kelly | March 4, 2009 11:01 AM
Thanks to your blog, when I saw a young mother with a down syndrome baby in a class I attended, I was able to go up to her and talk to her - I just acted like I would with any other baby and I told her how pretty she is and played with her a bit. I don't know if I would have done that if it had not been for your blog.
Posted by: Debra | March 4, 2009 11:25 AM
Our family experienced this first hand just five weeks ago. My oldest daughter gave birth to her second son on January 29th. Within 36 hours they had diagnosed him with Down's Syndrome. We are so blessed that God has chosen us to be partakers in the care and life of this sweet little one....who was created perfectly by our loving God!
I am so thankful to you, Barbara, for sharing about your family's journey with your four sons with something extra! It has made a big impact on me (and in turn our whole family!)
Thankfully, most people congratulate us knowing this is a precious baby. Only one has so far reacted with, "Oh, I'm sorry!" Of course, I countered with, "We think he's a wonderful blessing to our family!" It is interesting (and very telling) to see people's reactions. Meanwhile, I'm enjoying babysitting my two loveable grandsons whenever I can! ;)
Posted by: Pat | March 4, 2009 3:02 PM
WOW thank you, Barbara...Thanks for telling it like it is...
I hope this is not too off topic, but I have noticed there is also a sense of pity for parents how have multiple children of the same gender...The assumption is that you were "trying for the opposite". Our society needs to get a grip.
I love how you embrace life....None of us is an accident....
Posted by: Lisa | March 4, 2009 3:51 PM
Hi my name is courtney and im 20 yrs old. I have a son with down syndrome i was 17 when i had him. At first i was afraid...afraid i couldnt do it....but almost 3 yrs later he is the joy of my life!! I still dont understand why god blessed me so much but i thank him every day!!! If it wasnt for my son i probably wouldnt be here. I think evryone should get to know what downs is all about before they judge. Ive had many people stare at him and whisper....at first it bothered me but know i feel that they are just jealous because they dont have the joy and love my son gives to me!!!
Posted by: courtney | September 1, 2009 4:09 PM
