April 20, 2009 6:05 PM
Pro-life ethics - a discussion
Received this from a reader last week and we both thought it would be a good MommyLife discussion. I like to think of moments like this as though we're all hanging out at the backyard fence my kitchen and mulling things through like old friends. What do you think?
This would be a good family discussion too. I really believe that whether we home school our kids or send them to public or private school, one of the most important jobs we have as parents is helping them learn to think through real-life problems. We never know what our kids will face as adults, so the more time they've spent discussing situations like this with us - and the more they hear from us how important it is to hear from the Holy Spirit - the better prepared they will be when they must listen for that still, small voice themselves.
Hi Barbara,Thanks so much for your blog. It is so encouraging to me as a mother to two young girls and as a Christian woman facing issues in a fallen world. I've been reading it now for close to 2 years and have your wonderful book, the Mommy Manual:-)
I am a Registered Nurse from the US and my family and I live in ______ (I've omitted the names of the country and the reader to protect her from possible political repercussions) as my husband is employed here by an American Company. I just recently had found a job that I loved as a Nursing supervisor for a small international clinic that caters to the expatriate population here. It's a very posh establishment and I loved the challenge of the position.
However, it came to my attention about a month after working there that some of the OBs also perform 1st trimester voluntary abortions in this clinic, in addition to delivering babies! I was shocked and handed in my resignation later that same day, fully explaining to my supervisor (CEO of the company and the person who hired me) the reason for my resignation.
In retrospect, I feel sort of naive that I didn't even ask about this before accepting the position given the prevalence of abortion in this country. I would say in the last 8 years since my daughter was born AND becoming a more mature Christian, I am very strongly against abortion. Fortunately, my husband was very supportive of my decision to resign because of the abortion issue. Interestingly enough, there is no anti-abortion movement here in ______ that I am aware of and the practice seems to be widely accepted and quite routine. One friend recently shared that when she arrived at a _______ hospital/clinic to get her first check up with pregnancy #2, the first question the doctor asked after finding out it was her second child was, "Do you want to keep it?" It's quite sad but it's just the way things are here.
I've gotten encouragement for my decision to resign from the ladies in my small group from church, some calling me very brave for making such a stand. One of my closest friends in this group made an interesting remark about the situation. She had said something to the effect that sometimes as Christians we are to be a light in a dark place and that sometimes God would like to use us in places like this. I can see her point.
This place isn't your standard "abortion mill," like the ones that exist back in the States, but it does nevertheless provide these services to it's patients on a regular basis. Her comment has made me doubt the decision I made to resign. I see you as somebody with lots of practical wisdom in a situation such as this. What do you think? Is it ethical for a Christian woman to work in an establishment that performs abortions, even if she is not involved in them? I feel as if my paycheck would be coming out of money profited from killing innocent children! Would God want me to be a light even in a place such as this? Thanks for your input.
Kind regards,
________
Hi _______ -This is the kind of question I really like to post on my blog as it can lead to a rich discussion.
I appreciate your conscience and your decision. I also appreciate the remark your friend made. I am not ducking the question at all when I say that it is my belief that you both may be right and that these are the kinds of situations for which God gave us the gift of the Holy Spirit.
I believe that God spoke to your heart about leaving and you were quick to obey. And yet, He might speak to another person's heart to tell them to stay. In either case, there might be skepticism or criticism about an individual's course of action - and yet it seems to me that this is where we always run into problems as believers. When it comes to questions beyond the Ten Commandments, God is not so black and white as we are, and I could imagine that He might ask you to leave your position and yet ask another to stay. We are too small to understand how He accomplishes His purposes, so all we can do is obey His instructions and then try not to make it a rule for others.
Of course, no Christian could in good conscience perform, assist in or fund abortion. But providing health care in a facility where abortion is practiced - this is a different matter. Just like you, I would have disassociated myself completely, but I wouldn't presume to make my own response a template for everyone else. As the Bible shows us in story after story, we have to give God room to accomplish His purposes in ways that go against all human reason.
Should I put this at the blog for discussion?
love,
barbara
Hi Barbara,Thanks for you quick, thoughtful and heartfelt response. It really resonated with me and confirmed in my heart that I was obeying the leading of the Holy Spirit.:-):-)
Please feel free to use my story on your blog. I would ask you please to leave out the country I am residing in and my name, as I am told that ______ can be kind of touchy about topics discussed on blogs. I don't want to ever jeopardize my husband's work visa, . . . I do agree, this kind of topic can lead to the kind of rich discussions we need to be having.
Goodnight from _______!
Love,________
Posted in Pro-Life Issues | Permalink
Comments
I feel your answer was right on the money, Barbara. God calls us to different places, for different purposes. Sometimes he calls his children to be a light in an extremely dark place, and he gives them the grace and strength to do it. But this lady's stance can also be a light to those around her. As you said, it's important to listen to God's personal call for you, in deciding what to do.
Posted by: mary kathryn | April 20, 2009 7:59 PM
Barbara, Before becoming a Mom I worked as an operating room nurse and have encountered similar situations and have had different reactions. At one, a large regional trauma center with many ORs, abortions were done officially up to 24 weeks. I refused to participate in any way, including touching any of the equipment when it came back from processing. My stance was well known. Those who did work the rooms where abortions were done used to refer to abortion days as "birthday party days" and the abortions themselves as "suck and chucks". The official name was ETOP/d&c or d&e. When they would use this language I would always respond, "no, it's death & carnage day". The size of the facility and the multitude of specialties available to work in allowed me to avoid the abortions themselves while still working there. I always felt that at least someone was calling it what it was and maybe some seed would be planted in those who overheard our exchanges.
Later in my career I made the policy for myself to not work in any facility that did abortions. I no longer wanted to be anywhere near them, even if I was speaking out against them.
Posted by: Reen | April 20, 2009 8:44 PM
I liked your answer, too.
I wanted to say that there is more than one way to be a light. When this lady turned in her resignation immediately and explained her reason to the supervisor, she was being a light to that supervisor and to everyone else who learned of her decision.
Posted by: marisa | April 20, 2009 9:09 PM
Reen, I almost cried reading about the "suck and chucks." How can people be so flippant about killing another human being? Thank you for sharing your story.
I agree with the others here who say that God calls each of us to different places. While I never think that includes the inside of a dedicated abortion mill, I could see it being light in a hospital that also provides abortions.
I'll be praying for you.
Posted by: Lauren | April 20, 2009 10:08 PM
It's a tough call, because the place where she works presumably does a lot of life saving and life extending work, as well as "death and carnage."
My first thought was, well, would you work in a concentration camp if you didn't run the showers? But that's not a fair comparison. The camps did nothing but torture and kill people.
Is there any facility where she can work where they don't?
If not, is it possible for her to start such a place?
Posted by: Marie | April 20, 2009 11:33 PM
I agree with you Barbara, the Holy Spirit may lead one person a certain direction and then lead another in the opposite direction. I can see both sides of this.
I am sure the resignation of this woman put questions into the minds of her co-workers and was a testimony for Jesus Christ. Now another may be led to stay and minister to these woman who have been through the horrible ordeal of abortion.
Many woman who have been through the trauma of an abortion have scars for life and have a hard time accepting forgiveness. The nurse who stays would have a ministry to these woman. A nurse I know works in a hospital where abortions are performed and she uses the opportunity to show the love of Christ to these woman.
Posted by: Monica | April 21, 2009 7:43 AM
Many years ago I took a receptionist job at an OBGYN's office. I really had not considered the abortion scenario. Of course as I worked I began to have to answer calls that requested information about abortions. I learned that the doctors did provided abortions to their patients although they were far from a abortion clinic mostly providing normal OBGYN services. As I worked I gathered more knowledge about what was going on around me. I found myself handling some calls from persons seeking abortions and from some who had had D&E's and needed questions answered by the staff about follow up care. (It was funny the first D&E question I got I had no idea what a D&E was .....I had to ask some one on the staff. Imagine my surprise.)
After several months I did hand in a resignation because I felt in a small way my paycheck was blood money. I'm still not sure if it was the best response but we all have to live with our conscience.
Posted by: Joy | April 21, 2009 9:49 AM
I believe you did the right thing by leaving and your decision to leave that very day was probably a huge witness to your supervisor and others. Good for you!!!
Posted by: Libby | April 21, 2009 11:30 AM
We (my husband and I) have faced some "grey" areas in employment as well. Although, they are not life and death as abortion is they still have challenged our morals and values. My husband has been mostly unemployed for a year now, substitute teaching and doing odd jobs from time to time. We have a large family and my daycare business is not lucrative at this time either. In our state the jobs are so few and far in-between. Therefore, it really challenged us when he was approached about working in a casino, and cash advance type places. Although, we have nothing against responsible people going to a casino for entertainment now and again we know the bondage that this type of behavior can lead to. As well we know first hand the bondage that can come from the cash advance "stores". These types of entrapment can lead to a families down fall if not careful. We had to make a decision on these jobs based on what we felt the Holy Spirit was saying even though we really could use the money to support our family. The sad part is that there is a since that we felt judged because we did not pursue these jobs. In the end I would rather be right with God and clear of conscious than to have the funds that the job would provide. After all we know who the true Provider is.
Posted by: april | April 21, 2009 12:08 PM
I agree that there is not a 'one size fits all' answer here. Although I think this lady did the right thing, had I been in her situation I think I would have been inclined to stay, at least for a bit anyway.
I suppose I would hope to have an opportunity to stir the consciences of staff who are indifferent to abortion.
I have a good friend ( who doesn't hold any religious convictions) who worked as a nurse on a gynae ward and assisted with TOPs with no qualms at all. I met her when we did our midwifery training together. She truly is one of the kindest and loveliest people I know, and working in obsterics where we referred to all unborn babies as 'babies' and never used dehumanising scientific language in reference to them, she underwent a change of mind and heart.
She once described to me how, because they had had some born alive 'accidents', the hospital where she then worked ( a large well known, London teaching hospital) introduced a policy of injecting the fetal heart with potassium chloride prior to an induction of labour. She told me that she would accompany the mother to the ultrasound dept where the screen would be turned away from her ( unlike obstetric ultrasound where every little wave of a limb is delighted over and photographs taken) And then, my friend described seeing the needle enter the uterus, and finally, after a little repositioning, injecting the very active and sometimes apparently resistant baby in the heart. Death followed pretty quickly and was plainly visible as the little limbs thrashed and went still.
You can imagine how repugnant it was to hear about this, and to know that my good friend had been part of this was sickening and confusing. But when she told me all this, her point was that THEN she had felt quite neutral about it. I suppose she felt that it was the lesser of two evils somehow.
Working in obstetrics however, had given her a new perspective on the unborn baby, and she said she looked back in incredulity that she could have been so blind to what she now knew to be obvious. That the baby, although unborn, is a human person, and that killing it, is murder.
This story just reminds me that some people, whose dispositions are generally good, have a 'dead conscience' in this area. We have been so inculcated with the rights of the mother that the unseen baby can almost seem like a phantom rather than a person too.
Personally, I might chose to stay to be the 'shoe that rubs'.
Posted by: Clare | April 21, 2009 3:07 PM
