May 21, 2009 6:54 AM
BenAnna wedding countdown: 34.5 hours
The house is quiet this morning. The guys stayed up 'til 2:00 - I only know because that's when Tripp came to bed last night. When I went to bed, they were huddled around an outdoor firepit (borrowed from Anna's family - I'd love to get one someday) smoking cigars and being guys.
I've been letting the kids sleep in and taking them to school late, trying to balance family needs against structure. The three youngest went to bed at a normal time last night, but Jonny - at 17 and one of the groomsmen (his second time) - has been participating fully with the big guys. Well, except for the cigars.
Tripp went to Costco yesterday. Thank goodness he has been able to do so much, but I am worried that this is pushing him to the limit. He seems to have aged about 15 years and we don't know whether he will snap back completely. He's always been the kind of person who pushes through and does too much, so I am hoping he will rest for at least a few days after the wedding. His doctor has okayed him to go back to work July 1, which will make it nine months that he's been home. I've gotten used to it and will miss the Big Guy. And we are still hoping for some changes which I can't talk about yet.
When you picture our family getting ready, don't forget Sophia is still on a crutch or two, or hobbling around with an ankle brace - and going to physical therapy twice a week. And life continues to happen - like yesterday when our van died at a crucial moment and had to be towed, leaving us stranded until we got Samantha's van. It needed a new battery. But this morning I noticed the parking brake is not working. Gotta tell the Big Guy when he gets up.
When I wrap up this update, I will begin chopping broccoli, onions and so on. Samantha and Hattie are coming to help, along with my friend Anne. Six tablecloths to iron. Gotta get the odds and ends Costco didn't have. Lots of ice. You know how it is - things running like a ticket tape across the bottom of your mental screen.
And gotta keep feeding these guys and keep up with the laundry :)
The rehearsal is at 5:30. Justin is the ringbearer and my granddaughter Trinity the flower girl. Groomsmen are Josh, Zach, Jonny and two of Ben's friends from college. Matt is not a groomsmen because as plans were being made, he was auditioning for tours and cruise lines that might have prevented him being here. Now he is here - which is wonderful - so he will emcee the reception.
Anna comes from a family of four daughters. Two are already married. Anna and Ben met in 2002 when we moved to Virginia and they were in high school together. They started dating shortly before Ben's graduation. Anna was a year behind Ben and went on to Virginia Tech for four years. Since Ben took five years to graduate, they both graduated two weeks ago. We are so glad they are ready to make this commitment and move on with their lives rather than wait until their material circumstances were perfect. When I interviewed couples who'd been married more than 50 years to find the secrets of their success, they also started with nothing and built their lives together - with God's help.
Although I knew Anna had lost her father a couple years before we moved here, I only recently learned that Guy Condon was an important figure in the pro-life movement. Ben's wedding ring will be the one Anna's father wore. It is an honor.
Another similarity: Anna's mother became a Montessori teacher several years ago and teaches the Catechesis of the Good Shepherd. She also converted to Catholicism a few years ago.
The wedding will be small, sweet and simple. It's being held at a camp Anna has worked at for several summers. Yesterday all the young people gathered there to decorate. Today the girls are all going out to pick wild flowers for bouquets and arrangements. Pie instead of wedding cake. The funny thing is that since Tripp and I ran away to get married, my maid of honor and I picked my bouquet from the side of the road and we also had pie for our wedding dinner (there were just the four of us).
It has been a very stress free coming together of two families. And I have been so blessed to see all my children together (still no Jasmine, but we after 2 1/2 years we've gotten used to it and the sense of incompleteness has passed).
At this time in my life (I will be 61 on Monday!) I am all too well aware of my mistakes and shortcomings. Tripp and I came into our marriage with a lot of baggage and our marriage has been far from perfect. But we were always committed to building a healthy family and did our best to make that happen. Our goal was that our children would have a better foundation than we did and that they would enter into marriages emotionally free and ready to build a solid family.
But in spite of any of our mistakes and shortcomings, God has been gracious. The one thing that stands out about my kids is how much they love each other. They are genuinely filled with joy to be together. It is really quite beautiful to behold.
How did this happen? The answers aren't on the tip of my tongue. But it's a question I'm going to pray about and work on sharing with you. When you're a young parent you have a lot of dreams about what you want for your children. But in retrospect, I think I would put this at the top of the list.
The kids have a song they love - the Avett Brothers' Murder in the City - not a romantic title, but there's a line in the song that goes:
Always remember there was nothing worth sharing
Like the love that let us share our name.
These are sweet days and I'm glad I had this time this morning to reflect on what is most important. Thanks be to God. And thanks for listening - I feel even better equipped to seize the day.
Maybe, as someone suggested, I'll live blog.
Just kidding. But I do plan to drop in now and then as though you were chopping broccoli with me :)
~~~~~~~~~~
Art Notes:
Village Wedding Feast by Karoly Lotz, Hungarian
Posted in Family, My life | Permalink
Comments
Barbara,
I wish I was right beside you chopping broccoli!
What a beautiful post.
My prayers and best wishes for a beautiful wedding and a lifetime of blessings for Ben and Anna!
Much Love,
Liz
Posted by: Liz in D.C. | May 21, 2009 8:34 AM
God Bless your family, Barbara! Enjoy this wonderful family time together, and many blessings to Ben and Anna as they begin their married life.
Posted by: KatieButler | May 21, 2009 9:31 AM
Hooray for you all and your new family! I would come prep, save that we live almost as far away as possible still in the continental USA. We're praying for you all and are so happy to hear of a new marriage that is starting off right!
Posted by: imajackson | May 21, 2009 10:12 AM
Momma, how I wish I was really there, helping you out and basking in the business of a big family!
My best wishes for Ben and Ana as they start their life together.
Hugs, kisses and best wishes to you too, as you prepare to send one more strong man into the world.
Oh, and do blog about how you kids really enjoy being with each other, how that happened, because I have three boys and there's nothing I want more than for them to grow up to be best friends.
Love ya, momma!
Posted by: LadyLovas | May 21, 2009 10:23 AM
Congratulations again Barbara! You are so blessed. Please do give us more tips on how to foster love amongst siblings as parents. The families my husband and I come from don't maintain strong sibling ties and I would like for our children to be able to love each other whole-heartedly.
Blessings on Ben and Anna on their wedding day! I hope God brings them much joy in their marriage:).
Posted by: Sarah | May 21, 2009 11:05 AM
It is wonderful to see how these 2 people have been brought together and what a blessing it is for you! As a mom who is already praying about the future decisions my children will make, I am deeply encouraged. :)
My Dh and I also met in high school-end of my senior year. It has been a very blessed marriage. Neither of us has ever regretted it. We only regret having not gotten married SOONER!!!! :)
I cannot wait to see those wedding pictures!
Posted by: Lisa | May 21, 2009 2:32 PM
