March 11, 2010 11:49 AM
Abortion hurts fathers too
Scott left this as a comment, but I want to make sure everyone reads it and has a chance to add - plus open a place for men to weigh in:
A letter to the father.
I'm a guy. I'd just want to weigh in on this. My girlfriend and I decided on an abortion 31 years ago. It never ever goes away. If I could turn back the clock I would. I knew we were being selfish, but we were too busy being selfish to even bring that up. I haven't had a terrible existence but I am positive my life would have been better if we had reconsidered. We were 19 and thought it would have adversely affected our lives to have a baby.
Our child would be 31 now and I will never know her.
That is just a sentence on a screen or piece of paper to anyone who is reading this but I suggest to anyone considering abortion to really think about what that sentence means. Before you decide on abortion take a good long look around at people with their families and the family you came from. I can't don anything about my decision so long ago. But you can. Not only did the girl and I deny ourselves a child but I denied my mother a granddaughter, my sister and brother a niece, my nieces and nephew a cousin, and who knows about the friends and relationships that have been affected.
They say the effect, over time, of the small breeze created by a single butterfly moving it's wings has the ability to change the weather on the planet.
I can honestly say it was one of the worst things I agreed to in my entire life.
Think about what you're doing, it's not making a problem go away for you, it's creating one.
Thank you for taking the time to read this. I hope it helps someone.
I appreciate Scott sharing with us, and sympathize with his loss. When men understand the life denied them, it's devastating. It's even worse when it runs against the desires of the man.
There is an aspect of abortion which is rarely discussed, which is knowing you were a father. As in, not knowing if you're post-abortive or might one day be approached by a younger person inquiring if you're their father.
Sexual promiscuity, particularly by unattached women, can lead to not being able to uniquely identify the father. And given my past promiscuity, I often wondered. But up until a few years ago, it didn't occur to me that I might have been a dad, yet would not know this side of heaven. Men are detached from the physical bonding the woman has with their child. Circumstances or her silence might leave the man completely in the dark. In the heat of the moment, what is surrendered can be considerable.
Also when women have adulterous affairs, it's just as possible to abort the genuine child as it is the child of the affair.
Lastly, the real tragedy of abortion as upheld as a legal statute in the United States allows a woman to abort the child from a valid marriage, no questions or permission necessary from the husband.
I've often thought that such an illogical statute fundamentally violates the very rights which the government is supposed to secure - not only does abortion deny life, but it also denies men and women the pursuit of happiness.
Posted by: Chris Arsenault | March 11, 2010 3:03 PM
Well said, Chris.
Posted by: Sue from Buffalo | March 11, 2010 10:03 PM
Thank you Scott for your testimony!
Posted by: Linda | March 12, 2010 4:06 PM