March 3, 2010 4:08 PM
Cult characteristics and the Pearls
I ran this before in connection with churches - how you might spot trouble or unworthy leadership Let me say that these could also be applied to the spiritual/emotional health/validity of a parenting system that becomes a worldwide movement (as Michael Pearl is quick to point out). Those who have defended the Pearls ought to read his laughing and sneering response and then consider this:
The Cult Test has 100 questions, from which I've pulled 22 for your consideration
1. The Guru is always right.2. You are always wrong.
3. An Impossible Superhuman Model of Perfection.
4. Ideology Over Experience, Observation, and Logic
5. Cult-speak.
6. Group-think, Suppression of Dissent, and Enforced Conformity in Thinking
7. Irrationality.
8. Suspension of disbelief.
9. Denigration of competing sects, cults, religions...
10. Personal attacks on critics.
11. Insistence that the cult is THE ONLY WAY.
12. The cult and its members are special.
13. Inconsistency. Contradictory Messages [smiles and hugs, but using the rod until the spirit is broken]
14. Unquestionable Dogma, Sacred Science, and Infallible Ideology.
15. The ends justifies the means
16. Appeals to "holy" or "wise" authorities.
17. Instant Community.
18. Instant Intimacy.
19. Surrender To The Cult.
20. Giggly wonderfulness and starry-eyed faith.
21. Personal testimonies of earlier converts.
22. The cult is self-absorbed.
What I'm suggesting here is that regardless of the warm fuzzies and the giggly pictures, there is an underlying dis-ease in the Pearls' grand and according to them ONLY TRUE way to raise children.
Any man who couldn't muster up an acknowledgment that perhaps plumbing supplies were not the same as a switch to "spank" your children with and that the goal of parenting is not total domination -
Any man who laughs in response to earnest criticism caused by the death of two children using his methods -
Any man who SNEERS at his critics and divides the world into two - his UberChristian children who will dominate our pathetic "self-loathing" entitlement-seeking Christian children -
Any man who boasts that he has attained perfection and then sets out to give parents a plan where they should "spank" their children (and I don't call hitting children with switches, tree limbs and plumbing supplies spanking) until they become perfect -
This is not a man whose writings I would be proud to promote. This is not a man I would try to defend. This is a man who really seems to have lost his grip on reality and on the reality of our Heavenly Father.
See all my posts on Mike and Debi Pearl
Posted in Church Issues, Mike and Debi Pearl, Spiritual education | Permalink
Comments
Barbara,
Didn't want this to get lost in your email. Did you know that the Pearl's oldest daughter has a forum, with her husband? There is some...interesting info on there re: Rebekah's upbringing.
I have two Pearl books on parenting. They are scary - the way Mr. Pearl treats his children is shocking.
Here's a link (to more links) you may be interested in:
http://sweepingthecobwebs.blogspot.com/2010/02/pearls-method-linked-to-death.html
Posted by: Milehimama | March 3, 2010 7:40 PM
That site you linked to is filled with comments by a very nasty bunch. They seem to take great delight in fixating on certain "out there" Fundamentalist Christians. They troll those people's blogs for ridicule worthy fodder, mocking them for their poverty, naivete, lack of education, rural living conditions etc., all in an extremely personal way. Very nastily done. Not worthy conduct for believers in Christ, that's for sure.
We need to set doctrinal differences aside, we are beset on all sides by those who wish to divide us and crush us, soul, body and spirit. Things like what I witnessed on that cobwebs site play right into their hands.
Posted by: teresa | March 3, 2010 11:15 PM
But you see, teresa, they are right about many things about Fundamentalist Christians.
Just as we expect Muslims to apologize for/disassociate themselves from/invalidate terrororist extremists, we Christians need to stop being tolerant and nice about cultlike Christian gurus who've lost their way, become filled with pride and who are causing damage within the Body of Christ. There are gullible people out there buying into their bizarre practices (like whipping children with plumbing supply line and laughing about it). Other more spiritually /emotionally balanced Christians need to take a stand and tell them this is wrong.
I appreciate the reader who said she threw her Debi Pearl book in the trash. If I had any, I would too. But like Paul Revere, I'm doing what I can to sound the alarm. I'm old enough to have seen the Christian community with egg on its face because they let some arrogant man continue down a destructive path, leading thousands/millions of followers along.
Will it take another dead child for people to wake up? Did it wake you up to hear Michael Pearl's boasting of laughing and his raw contempt for anyone outside what we can now see is indeed a quasi-cult?
This is not a question of doctrine. It's a question of domestic tyranny and dangerous advice.
Posted by: Barbara | March 3, 2010 11:26 PM
this is an outrage. there have been two times in my parenting over the past nearly 5 years that I have been directed to TTUAC, once solicited and once unsolicited. each time i looked at their website and walked away. I have learned a bit about taking the good and leaving the bad over the years, but I couldn't take any of it. it made me wonder why these two women of faith would direct me there. well behaved kids aren't my ultimate goal especially at the expense paid with this type of "method." the death of these children is heartbreaking. :( keep sounding the alarm, Barbara, we need you to continue calling these things to our attention.
Posted by: JenS | March 4, 2010 9:13 AM
Re: Throwing the books away.
My husband and I have quite a growing library of books with which we vehemently disagree. We keep them as references of sorts. When I see another parent do something I find weird/odd in dealing with their kids, I like having TTUAC so I can see what she read to come to that conclusion. Does that make sense?
Posted by: Debra | March 4, 2010 10:15 AM
From the perspective of an outside observer, it read like a majority of Catholics taking some enjoyment at the egg on the face of Fundamentalist Christians. Be honest. Would those cackling so loudly about poor, misguided Candy be doing so were she a Catholic girl barefoot and pregnant? Much of this on their (and your)part is doctrinal warfare. My point is that we should find the things we can agree on (like the value of life, etc.) instead of taking opportunities to snipe at other Christians. My issue with those on the site your commenter linked to was the cruelty of their comments and snark about a fellow believer in Christ, not with their problems with Michael Pearl. Their behavior speaks volumes, and is illustrative of their character. They are being as cruel to a vulnerable person as they believe Michael Pearl is to little kids.
If you see evil done, speak out, by all means, but don't cloak your own baggage and doctrinal biases in self- righteous puffery. That's pretty easy to see through.
Posted by: teresa | March 4, 2010 1:46 PM
teresa -
you've been reading here since 2006 and you should know me better than this This is not a Catholic vs. Protestant issue. It is an issue about reining in an arrogant person who has accumulated a cult following.
I have only been a Catholic for a couple of years. As an evangelical, I was one of the first to speak out against the Ezzos (Raising Children God's Way) and more recently I have questioned the cultlike aspects of VisionForum and the arrogance of Doug Phillips.
I think it's important for the Body of Christ - or at least some as they become aware - to denounce parts that are unhealthy. Spanking a child with a piece of plumbing supply line until they submit - the Pearls say they shouldn't have enough breath to speak - is not just unhealthy, but monstrous.
This is not doctrinal warfare, but taking care of the least of these.
Posted by: Barbara | March 4, 2010 4:16 PM
Barbara, it is more than just dangerous parenting advice and tyranny. It IS a matter of doctrine as well. Many of the other blogs have said it far better than I can, but the heart of the matter is that Pearl believes we can attain spiritual perfection here in this world. That we can live sinless lives here on earth, and that his methods will help parents accomplish this in and for their children. He has even claimed that he himself now lives a sinless life. This blog entry has excerpts from Pearl's article, “Living Parallel Lives in the Same Space” (No Greater Joy, Jan.-Feb. 2005).
This needs to be pointed out, not only to our fellow parents, but to our priests, pastors, and teachers. I really feel that the only way the Pearls' methods (and their income stream) will be dealt with is by bringing this to the pulpit.
The Pearls are prideful people. But pride goes before a fall, and a haughty spirit before destruction. The Pearls are overdue for both.
Posted by: Linda B | March 4, 2010 4:23 PM
I haven't read any of the Pearl's works but if all of this is true (and I have no reason to doubt it) then how can anyone claim that this is a doctrinal bias?
Huh? Teresa, have you had time to rethink this?
Hitting children with plumbing is a doctrinal bias?
I am not seeing anything of doctrinal bias, theological/ Protestant vs Catholic ANYTHING here.
God help us. Those people are evil.
Posted by: Sue from Buffalo | March 4, 2010 4:56 PM
This is not doctrinal differences, or someone who has "gone astray". This man Pearl is a criminal. Period. The abuse that he and his followers perpetrate on innocent children should not be dealt with in a spirit of loving Christian correction; these people should be gone after with the full weight of the law. His followers are not victims, they are abusers and criminals, just like he is. If I knew anyone who used this parenting method I would be bound by the ethical rules governing attorneys to turn them in to the police. I think everyone else - even without such a legal duty - should do the same.
Posted by: Tari | March 5, 2010 10:55 AM
Teresa, I'm a Protestant and I've had growing discomfort with the Pearls' doctrine/dogma. There are many Protestants criticizing them as well.
I don't have a problem with spanking appropriately. I don't have a problem with disciplining children. I am pretty sure I am closer to "strict" than "lenient" on the parenting scale. :) But I'm done with the Pearls.
I think it's unfortunate that snarky unbelievers have to take up the protest against things like this in the Church. We should be doing our own housecleaning. I tried not to assume the worst of them for many years, and defended them. I saw their specifications about not abusing, etc. But combined with the other things they wrote, I could never in good conscience recommend them to anyone for parenting advice. I became uncomfortable with that long before this point, even while I still defended them over specific points.
The Pearl's show no mercy and no compassion and the latest blog post from them is another demonstration of that. The world is not going to show them mercy and IMO that's an unfortunate result of the Church at large not holding our own accountable for the words they let fly.
Posted by: Margaret | March 6, 2010 8:46 PM
