March 12, 2010 2:26 PM
Southern women
From Dorothy:
THE SOUTH
Southern women Know their summer weather report:
Humidity
Humidity
Humidity
Southern women know their vacation spots:
The beach
The rivuh
The crick
Southern women know everybody's first name:
Honey
Darlin'
Shugah
Southern women know the movies that speak to their hearts:
Fried Green Tomatoes
Driving Miss Daisy
Steel Magnolias
Gone With The Wind
Southern women know their religions:
Baptist
Methodist
Football
Southern women know their cities dripping with Southern charm:
Chawl'stn
S'vanah
Foat Wuth
N'awlins
Addlanna
Southern women know their elegant gentlemen:
Men in uniform
Men in tuxedos
Rhett Butler
Southern girls know their prime real estate:
The Mall
The Country Club
The Beauty Salon
Southern girls know the 3 deadly sins:
Having bad hair and nails
Having bad manners
Cooking bad food
More Suthen-ism's:
Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.
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Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc..., make up "a mess."
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Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."
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Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is, as in: "Going to town, be back directly."
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Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table..
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All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.
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Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin!
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Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and " a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20
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Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and Po white trash.
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No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.
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A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.
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Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, ... And when we're "in line,"... We talk to everybody!
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Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related, even if only by marriage.
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In the South, y'all is singular, all y'all is plural.
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Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.
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Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
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When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!
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Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.
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And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway.. You just say,"Bless her heart" ... And go your own way.
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To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southerness: Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning. Bless your heart!
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And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff, .... bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin' to have classes on Southernness as a second language!
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Southern girls know men may come and go, but friends are fahevah !
Now...... Shugah, send this to someone who was raised in the South or wish they had been! If you're a Northern transplant,bless your little heart, fake it. We know you got here as fast as you could
Posted in Fun Stuff, Humor, Inspiration, Virginia | Permalink
Comments
Not to be picky, but I must quibble - but y'all is always plural! I think the confusion comes because often we'll talk of you *plus* your family or spouse. Like when on the phone with a friend I'll say, "how're yall doing?" And she knows I mean she and "all hers," not just she herself.
Catherine, Georgia girl exiled to DC :)
Posted by: Catherine | March 12, 2010 4:31 PM
I'm a Georgia girl in Japan, I have to agree with Catherine. I have never heard anyone use "y'all" as singular except in the movies!
Oh, how I miss chatting in the check-out line!!!
I always say you can tell someone isn't from Atlanta when they actually pronounce the "t's."
Honey,I just loved readin' this, even though I'm feeling a little homesick now. Bless your heart!
Posted by: Sue | March 12, 2010 6:14 PM
Ha! I was getting on to protest the same thing. 'Ya'll' is a contraction for "you all", and like Sue said only in the movies or an occasional book have I ever heard it as a plural--and it always drives me crazy. True sign the person is NOT a Southerner. Unless, of course, there is some pocket of the South somewhere. . .
From an Alabama girl in Thailand. (We Southern women seem to get around the world, huh?)
Posted by: Joan | March 12, 2010 7:58 PM
We say "shug" too instead of "shugah." And I agree that y'all is plural. I'm right proud, though, that they spelled it right:) It's y'all not ya'll.
I'm blessed to be raising my little southern belle in the heart of georgia - trying to instill a little more Melanie, though. She's a natural Scarlet!
Posted by: Shannon M | March 12, 2010 8:09 PM
As yet another Georgia girl, I too agree.... Y'all is always plural. And we really can call people we don't even know that well "honey" or sugar." I just love it! I still expect my grown-up children to say "yes, ma'am" and yes, sir" - and they do!- I still do, too!
My grandma's most favorite expression was always "bless her(or his) heart." You can even politely say what you really mean by prefacing it that way, as in "bless her heart, she can't help it if she...."
You truly can't beat the food, the people and the honest hospitality of the south, I think especially in the small towns - I'm just partial to the rural south.
Thanks for putting this on your blog - bless your heart!
Posted by: Nana | March 12, 2010 10:19 PM
All cute... but... "poor white trash" is just a horrible phrase that no woman should repeat.
Posted by: Marie | March 12, 2010 11:28 PM
I agree with Marie. To me Southern women know how to keep their tongue when it comes to name calling. Of course that should be for all women in general.
When I moved to TX over 14 years ago I saw bumper stickers everywhere that read "I was not born here but I got here as fast as I could". I hated that sticker then. After living here for a few years I realized what all the fuss was about. I still don't have the bumper sticker (my husband wouldn't allow it anyway!) but I firmly believe that Texas is the best place to live! I know some say that Texas is not "Southern". I challenge them to say that to some of my friends faces. :-)
Posted by: Ouida Gabriel | March 14, 2010 10:38 AM
