May 20, 2010 2:24 PM
Loudoun Valley Alternative Prom 5/23
This ran Friday in the Purcellville Gazette. You can find the details about a grasroots, student-sponsored, clean, fun - and only $15! - alternative prom at the bottom:
To Prom or Not to Prom? Now There's an AlternativeSince moving to Loudoun in 2002, I've seen six of my kids - and many of their friends - confront the Prom Problem in different ways.
Prom Problem? Well, let's just put it this way: today's school dances - unless properly organized and courageously chaperoned - would make all but the most permissive parents blush for shame. Many mothers and fathers would cringe at the sexploitation of their daughters - and be outraged at the cavalier attitude of their sons.
Have your kids talked to you honestly about prom? Mine talked to me - and I ended up publishing a book a few years ago called Dirty Dancing at the Prom and Other Challenges Christian Teens Face: How Parents Can Help
. As the title indicates, it's not for all parents - just for those whose children's values make them just a little different from the kids they sit in class beside, eat lunch with, and cheer to victory throughout the year.
Many of these students - though they'd love the fun of getting dressed up with somewhere special to go - have foregone school dances simply because they cannot take the sight of teens in heat. When they or their parents have appealed to school officials for help in regaining the dignity and inclusiveness of school dances, their appeals are dismissed. Last year, one teacher told my husband that that kind of dancing never took place at Loudoun Valley, then invited him to appear before the Student Council to discuss his concerns, setting up the students and the chairs to put him on the hot seat. To her surprise, several students came forward to admit that he was right.
I've heard that meeting led to a wristband system that will help chaperons this year weed out offensive dancing. Unfortunately, it takes chaperons unwilling to turn a blind eye, not hopelessly hip teachers who think of themselves as on the side of the kids rather than parents and community.
Over the years we have let our kids make their own choice about school dances. Our sons chose not to go. They felt embarrassed to ask girls they liked -"nice" girls - to be a part of such a sketchy scene.
Our daughter Sophia went with a big group of friends who always hung out in the second gym. You see, at Valley, the dances are held in adjoining gyms. The main gym is dark, plays great-to-grind-to music, and the dancers form circular layers, keeping the worst in the middle where the chaperons cannot see it. The other is well-lit, plays fun music like swing and group type numbers like YMCA and Macarena.
That second gym is referred to as The Losers.
Really. The Losers.
So far Maddy has followed her brothers' footsteps and avoided school dances. She was set not to go to prom either. But she found there is an alternative and she and brother Jonny are rarin' to go.
Maddy's friends, David Scala and Allison Clark are heading up a grassroots team of students who've organized an Alternate Prom to be held the same night as Loudoun Valley's.
Scala says, "We are trying to attract students who want a different experience, like no date required, cheaper and better food, better music, no dirty dancing."
Contrary to a local paper that dubbed the event a Purcellville Baptist Church anti-prom, Scala explains that while they have secured the PBC multi-purpose room (great dance floor!), the students are sponsoring a community - not a specifically Christian - event.
"Our goal is NOT to be anti-prom. We love the people who work on the LVHS prom - one of our team members is also in charge of the Valley prom. We just want to provide an alternative."
A DJ will play fun and clean music from the 50s to current pop. Parents are helping with food and decorations. The community can help by spreading the word and encouraging kids - particularly those who've been financially or culturally disenfranchised from school dances - to come out for some good, clean fun.
Scala says, "This Alternate Prom will be a safe environment with no drugs or alcohol, good homemade food, no worries about getting a date, and a whole lot cheaper than the other prom where you have to go out to dinner and rent a tuxedo.
"We are not supporting a message, we just want to provide a cleaner alternative!"
Tickets $15 in advance or at the door.
For more information, contact
• David Scala scalazoo@comcast.net (703)-307-4577
• Allison Clark allison.clark34@gmail.com .
Posted in Loudoun County, Public schools, Purcellville | Permalink
Comments
Proms are a source of all kinds of trouble here in our area, but never heard of dirty dancing as an issue. Actually it is the pre and post prom events that are the problems.
Also students can and do go stag or in groups to the proms here. Not a whole lot of serious dating anyways.
Good luck to your beautiful Maddie in making the alternative prom a fun and wonderful event. If anyone can do it, she can.
Posted by: Cath Young | May 20, 2010 10:57 PM
This gave me goosebumps. Certainly, these young people and this church are a ray of light shining into a dark place!
Posted by: Amy R | May 20, 2010 11:00 PM
Wow, an alternative prom is a great idea. I remember when I was in high school there were alternative graduation parties, too.
I was shocked when I went to my senior prom (stag) in 2001 and while just dancing by myself a male student came up behind me and started "grinding". I remember whirling around to see who it was (and probably smack him for it) but by that time he was gone and I never found out who it was. I felt dirty and violated, and ended up standing outside for half an hour to calm down before driving home. At least it was near the end of the evening and I did get to enjoy some of the dance. But I shudder to think that this behavior is considered "normal" nowadays. Ugh.
Posted by: Courageous Grace | May 22, 2010 3:35 PM
Alternative prom should not be needed for kids to have a safe, comfortable prom. The "alternative" should be the dirty dancing, unsupervised things for those kids who do not want to be under the umbrella of protection of their schools. If the prom is truly a high school sponsored event, it should be a safe haven sort of thing. Let those who want it to be otherwise set up their own alternatives. This really rankles me, Barbara, the more I think about it.
One district here canceled the prom after not getting parental support for the rules regarding the prom and pre and post activities. Let them all be alternative proms. The school should not be party to things that put these kids in compromising situations. Enough of that out there as it is.
I am sorry that you are in a district where families and kids have to put together their own prom and call it "alternative" which around here has the opposite connotation, to have a safe, fun place for a prom.
Posted by: cath Young | May 23, 2010 9:31 AM
