November 19, 2010 7:50 AM
Depressed? A simple antidote
The best Rx I've ever found for depression - and a simple way antidote to narcissism, too. Teach this to your kids from their earliest days so they can make good, unselfish decisions.
Here's a column I published last year on how someone helped me pull myself out of a depression and taught me to decide whether how to look at my life:
Every Day Thanksgiving
Of course I'm grateful. I live in a place I love with people I love. My life is full of miracles, big and small.I push a faucet and there's water. I flip a switch and there's light. I turn a key and drive wherever I want.
I gather groceries for my family from an abundance fit for a king. I throw laundry in a machine that washes it for me. I switch to another and it's dry.
I can watch any movie any time and as many times as I want. I can have any book or music delivered to my door with just the click of a mouse. Then there's google, which has made this writer's past dependence on libraries, periodicals, and microfiche a thing of the past.
I'm grateful for yellow school buses, friendly drivers, superb schools, and my kids'exceptionally devoted teachers.
I'm grateful for the nicest doctor in the world - Sandra Groeber - who helps me keep my kids on track health-wise, and a network of doctors who give my family the best of care.
Is there a conspiracy to make me happy? Yes, but only when I look at my life a certain way.
It started with a lesson from 29 years ago. Too depressed to get out of bed, I called in sick to work, then dialed a friend whose shoulder I wanted to cry on.
"Make a list," she said.
"Of what?" I asked.
"Of everything you're grateful for."
I wasn't in the mood for that. But a few days later when it seemed I was about to get sucked into a quagmire from which I might never escape, I remembered and grabbed her advice like a life preserver.
Things I'm Grateful For, I wrote at the top of the page. Well, there were my daughters, the house we were renting, the magnolia tree next door, the Chariots of Fire theme I listened to while running. Before long, I'd filled the whole page - and I felt better than I'd felt for a long, long time.
And so I began to cultivate an attitude of gratitude for even the smallest things - from a swallow's flight to a stranger's smile.
For a speeding ticket on 690 a couple years ago, I thanked the officer, and as he drove away, I thanked God.
"What do you mean, Mom?" Samantha asked, thinking points and premiums.
"Well, I figure this was meant to keep me safe." Surely, there were a lot worse things that could happen to me. Maybe now they wouldn't.
Emily Dickinson wrote, "The soul should always stand ajar, waiting for the ecstatic experience." And perhaps a ticket seems far from ecstatic. But the point is this - that life is very much what you make of it. And it's a blast to live each day as if you've won the lottery. To choose - no matter what transpires - to reach deep into your heart and find thanksgiving.
Thanksgiving - every day!
Once upon a time, I would have scoffed at this simple antidote. But I learned that day in 1980 that it works and I've been using it to refocus when I need to ever since.
It works! When I wrote this last November, we had lost our house to foreclosure and Tripp was just getting back on his feet after a nine-month bout with MRSA which had almost cost him a leg. I survived because someone once gave me good advice and I took it rather than scoffing.
In AA there's a saying: "Keep It Simple, Stupid" (KISS). I'd also say, Focus On Others, Not Yourself. There are plenty of hurting people in the world. Go out and help someone else rather than letting self-pity cripple you. And talk to a friend who has found some purpose and meaning in life - then follow that friend's advice.
Posted in Health, Inspiration | Permalink
Comments
Thanks, Barbara. I'm not depressed but I needed a little boost. :)
Posted by: Sheila | November 19, 2010 2:50 PM
My kids & I make a Thanksgiving paper chain every November about all the things we are thankful for. It taps into my sons' love of building while helping put everyone in the right spirit.
A lady at my church encourages others to do a Thanksgiving journal every November as a way to prepare one's heart for Thanksgiving Day.
Posted by: Laurie | November 20, 2010 8:02 AM
I love this Barbara... Slightly off-topic, but I wanted to mention Psalm 37 as a way of keeping our minds on doing what's right, and a cure for fretting, which I am so prone to do. :)
Posted by: Lisa | November 20, 2010 1:39 PM
Being thankful is surely a great way out of depression. Great article, agree with it completely!
Posted by: DepressionFighter | November 21, 2010 12:49 AM
Thanks for the reminder. I needed it today. =)
Posted by: Jen Raiche | November 22, 2010 11:08 AM
