November 29, 2010 4:26 PM
Forgiveness: never impossible
Forwarded from Martha Sears:
Unleashing Forgiveness
"The acid of hate destroys the container." Amish saying
It never does any good to hold grudges. I've discovered this to be true in my marriage, in relationships, after financial let downs, through business ups and downs. Cognitively and intuitively, it's easy to understand. Actually living it, though, that is what's hard! After speaking to a group of Pediatric Intensive Care Nurses in Philadelphia last week I learned of a tragedy, of generosity, and of love that challenged everything I thought about justice - - and reminded me of the power in forgiveness.
On October 2, 2006 Charles Roberts IV parked his delivery truck down the street from a small, one room, Amish school house in rural Pennsylvania. At morning recess, the 26 students saw Roberts and his truck, but thought little of it as he was known by many as the man who picked up the milk from their farms. As the children were brought back in by their young teacher, they were followed by Roberts.
After being welcomed in by the class, Roberts' demeanor changed. He revealed a gun. He started yelling. He forced the teachers and the boys to leave the school house. Now alone with the girls, he nailed the door shut, pulled the blinds, and forced them to lie down on the floor. He then told the elementary-aged girls that he was going to make them pay for all his pain. The oldest in the classroom, Marian, was thirteen. Understanding the danger and selflessly trying to protect the younger girls, she pleaded, "Shoot me! Shoot me!"
Roberts would shoot Marian. He would shoot all ten girls before taking his own life.
Although inexpressibly tragic, this story doesn't end where you might expect. You see, the Amish don't just preach forgiveness; they somehow live it. Even in the midst of the most terrible circumstances, the Amish refused to surrender their life - and deaths - to someone else. They refused to be victims.
The evening of the shooting, the same day five little girls were murdered and five others were struggling to survive - the same day that a sleepy, peaceful, idyllic hamlet had been robbed of its innocence - three leaders from the Amish community went to the shooter's house. The Amish men went to see Roberts' widow. They went to let her know that they weren't angry with her and were sorry for her loss.
Three miles away, the murder's father was lost in grief - besides losing his own son that morning, the pain of his son's actions made it impossible for him to stand or to speak or to stop weeping. He was inconsolable. Then there was a knock at his door. An Amish man with a horse and buggy had come to comfort him. The man embraced the murder's father for an hour and repeatedly said, 'we forgive you. We forgive you.'
The tragedy that took place in this quaint community quickly became a global news story. Besides filling their town with news trucks, financial support flooded in from throughout the world. The leaders in the Amish community had a meeting and agreed that they weren't the only one who had experienced loss and needed support. They quickly set up an account for the family of the murderer and funneled resources to them.
Finally, many of the friends of the murderer weren't present at his funeral. Less than 70 attended the service. Stunningly, more than half of those present were Amish. Traveling in several dozen horse and buggies, they supported the killer's widow. It was in particularly moving when several of the parents who had lost their own daughters to this man, approached the burial site, and embraced his widow.
My friend, the remarkable outpouring of kindness and compassion the Amish modeled wasn't an effort to ignore the massive loss they were personally enduring. It wasn't an act put on for media. It wasn't some lame effort to see a silver lining. Instead, it was the realization that in the midst of absolute tragedy by replacing anger and resentment with forgiveness and love, they were able to transform themselves from victims to victors.
This Thanksgiving week, you'll likely have numerous opportunities to play victim. Save the pity for the massive, dried out bird on the dining room table! Look for the daily opportunities to choose love over anger, forgiveness over resentment. In making this choice you empower yourself to author a story of beauty and grace regardless of what happens to you. And in choosing that, you ensure (as the Amish proved) that you will become the hero in your story, too.
John O'Leary, www.risingabove.com
Posted in Inspiration | Permalink
Comments
AMISH GRACE is an excellent movie about this!
Posted by: Lisa | November 29, 2010 4:55 PM
thanks for reminding me
Posted by: priest's wife | November 29, 2010 7:31 PM
Powerful and very timely message.... I know that this was God sent to me. I've been dealing with feelings of hate and resentment for my sister.The quote about the acid and the container really touched my soul. I now can release hate and resentment and let them go and forgive her once again
Posted by: Sylvia | November 29, 2010 8:30 PM
