December 13, 2010 8:03 AM
Christmas advice: Stress less, live more
For several years, I've written a biweekly column for the Purcellville Gazette. Here is last week's:
Christmas advice: Stress less, live moreI confess. I was once a mom who overdid Christmas. For a number of years Christmas looked like Santa had showered us with enough stuff for a dozen kids.
Oh, that's right, we did have a dozen kids. But still.
When a megafamily unwraps presents one at a time - hey, after all that shopping, I at least wanna watch! - even three apiece can be overwhelming. And I'm talking more on the order of seven, eight, nine or ten.
But the holidays aren't about numbers, are they? Which I finally realized thousands of dollars later.
Six years ago I made a radical proposal: that we get just one gift apiece and use the rest of the money to build a small home for a family of orphans in Africa. More doable than it sounds, since third world orphans are much less demanding in their housing requirements than we could imagine.
I don't mean that cynically at all. Just considering that a thousand dollars could put a roof over some heads with walls to keep out the cold had a way of putting the ceaseless seasonal marketing hype in perspective.
We went through World Vision, one of several charities where families can donate specifically - depending on the size of your budget - a goat for a family or a well for a village or chickens for children to raise. Something tangible that will make sense to kids who may be giving up a Playstation so other kids can have a glass of milk.
Needless to say, writing that one check relieved me of a lot of shopping stress that year. And it tamed the consumer monster in our family. If your holidays have left you a little less-than-merry, you might want to give it a try - as well as three other rules I've learned to live by:
1) Do only what you have time for. I like sending cards, but there have been years when I just didn't have the time. Period. We like to cut down our own tree as a family, but some years we've had to send a small Curtis delegation to a lot. No worries.
2) Do what matters most. Stress means you're doing too much. Decide what's most meaningful and stick with that. For example, I buy my kids a new ornament each year. When they marry, they take their box of ornaments to start their own family tree. I've now had the privilege of seeing grandchildren admire their mom's childhood ornaments mixed with theirs on their own Christmas tree. That's one tradition I won't be letting go.
3) Do what draws your family closer. Over the years, we've collected Christmas puzzles. During December there's always one out in our living room, inviting us to stop what we're doing and spend time working on it together. No TV, just Christmas music in the background. For a while time stands still and all is calm, all is bright.
Whatever your faith tradition, put it first. I'm guessing the creche we set up each year will play a larger part in my children's memories than any particular have-to-have item they received.
Keep it simple, keep it real, and keep faith first.
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Comments
Thank you for the timely reminders and great advice! Merry Christmas to you!
Posted by: Margaret | December 13, 2010 8:35 PM
Thank you for this lovely post, Barbara!
Posted by: Kim D. in WI | December 13, 2010 11:47 PM
What an important post- I love the idea of a Christmas puzzle and music in the evenings. For the past few years, I have been really successful in getting all Christmas books and videos into the Christmas boxed- it's so special when they come out at Advent!
Posted by: priest's wife | December 15, 2010 11:58 PM
