January 5, 2011 9:59 PM
My Princess Boy: Encouraging gender role confusion
It's come to this:You might want to leave Jessica an encouraging comment. Here's mine:'My Princess Boy': Must our children be burdened with this?
Posted January 3, 2011 at 12:22 pm by Jessica
I received a review copy of My Princess Boy the other day, written by Cheryl Kilodavis. The name caught my attention. The book cover is pink and shows an androgynous figure wearing a crown and a dress. Flipping through the book, I quickly discover that the book is about an effeminate 4-year-old boy who likes dressing up in "girly dresses" and is drawn to the color pink. The book goes on to tell about his brother who is a boy-boy, preferring sports and his father who tells the 4-year-old how "pretty he looks in a dress".
Further into the book, it's quite apparent that the book is about acceptance and tolerance and goes into how hurt the little boy is when others make fun of him as dressing up like a girl becomes his sole identity. He enjoys dressing up as a princess and appears to do so on regular basis, with all the frills and lace. He wears dresses for Halloween, to go to birthday parties and to school. Then the book scolds the mean children for hurting the boy who wears dresses -- daring children to laugh at him or call him names and appealing to their guilt and mitigating the Princess Boy's behavior to get children to accept this as perfectly normal.
The problem as I see it is this -- gender roles are a NORMAL part of growing up. It's a healthy distinction and children are who are not born with a gender identity issue or who are comfortable with their gender, as most people are, shouldn't be made to feel that gender is interchangeable and something that is only imposed by big, bad people in a big, bad society.
Read more at The Imperfect Parent
Jessica -
I don't have time to read the comments, but can imagine that you will be seen by some as rigid and intolerant.
I just want you to know that I gave a whoop of delight upon reading your review. You tackled a difficult politically-charged topic with common sense, grace and boldness. We are living in an Emperor's New Clothes world, but thank God for parents who aren't going along with lies.
I grew up in a dysfunctional single-parent home (and sometimes foster homes). The last thing I needed was a picture book to tell me that my lifestyle was a worthy alternative. I needed good role models and mentors to plant the desire in me and show me how to build a healthy life. I thank God for feeling uncomfortable enough to work hard to build a better life for myself and the family I would eventually have. Children often go through stages of confusion. That's where adults are supposed to step in and offer guidance.
You have done parents a great service by giving them permission to think for themselves.
I will be linking from my blog.
See also my 3/2/08 article in the Washington Post: Propaganda in Children's Literature
Posted in Choosing Children's Literature series, Homosexuality, Propaganda | Permalink
Comments
first tango now this.
Why do adults feel the need to push their justifications for their own faults onto kids?
Posted by: sandra | January 6, 2011 7:33 AM
Sandra -
unfortunately, it's not just Tango and My Princess Boy. If you look up My Princess Boy at Amazon, you will see that there are now countless picture books encouraging gender confusion in kids. And they are being used in public schools throughout the nation.
Posted by: Barbara | January 6, 2011 8:07 AM
The devil uses gender confusion to weaken us.
My hear breaks to think of the number of children who go through this.
Posted by: Catherine Muskett | January 6, 2011 9:34 AM
And breaks even more to think that our culture has so lost its way that this kind of propaganda is being used in public schools!
We all need to be able to discuss these issues knowledgeably and to refuse to be intimidated by those who label any disagreement "homophobia."
Posted by: Barbara | January 6, 2011 9:39 AM
I saw this couple in a magazine with this young boy dressed in a tutu. What a beautiful family and they were looking at him very lovingly. But, it disturbed me.
"A woman shall not wear anything that pertains to a man, nor shall a man put on a woman's garment; for whoever does these things is an abomination to the LORD your God." (Deut 22:5).
Posted by: Eileen | January 6, 2011 6:45 PM
Wow, after my last post I thought to myself...maybe I am wrong for wearing jeans and cowgirl boots? Have to look at myself too.....
Posted by: Eileeen | January 7, 2011 11:34 AM
This post made me grin, partially in disbelief and partially in response to my own son's behavior. Last spring I took George (who will be 3 in two weeks) to a playdate that had multiple tricycles available for the kids. He turned his nose up at the blue and green ones, opting instead for the sparkly pink one. All I could do was laugh because he wanted the "pretty" one. However, he loves Thomas, Cars, Spiderman, and Transformers and will generally gravitate toward the boy toy section of the toy store (cars, trucks, power tools, etc.).
Now that we are expecting a girl, I'm sure the house will soon be filled with pink and princess and lace and all things girly. But I'm sure that if I ever find my son playing with Barbies, it will probably be to run them over with a dump truck.
In my opinion, many cases of boys playing with girl toys are usually a matter of curiosity, but if it becomes a constant problem I see nothing wrong with getting help...and normalizing that behavior is not the answer.
Posted by: Courageous Grace | January 7, 2011 10:04 PM
What is wrong with you people. God loves his children, all of them. I applaud those parents that re-inforce within there child to be the best he/she can be. You encourage a child and you give them confidence to face the world of small minded people who do not teach their children to respect others who are not what we deem "normal". Children are precious regardless of their gender identity, handicaps, ADD, etc. Thank goodness for this book.
Posted by: Joan Jewel | February 20, 2011 1:00 PM
Joan -
God does love us all - each and every one. And none of the readers here would ever teach their children anything but kindness and compassion towards everyone. Every indivi=dual is precious.
However, there is something seriously wrong with a parent who encourages gender confusion and flaunts it by taking her child on TV and making him jump through hoops to get this kind of attention. What I see is a seriously disturbed little boy who has failed to identify with his father and rejected his own identity who could with proper therapy before the age of six be given the opportunity to pursue a happy healthy life.
Instead, in the interest of "tolerance" we are subjected o this sensationalim and exaggeration and asked to celebrate it. It's very much like the Emperor's New Clothes.
In my opinion, this mother is very sick and so is our society for making a celebrity out of her and her son and foisting this nonsense on the population.
Again - having this opinion does not make me intolerant or hateful. If I saw them in my neighborhood, I'd smile and say hello. But I would not become a codependent in someone else's mental illness.
And I say that as a Montessori teacher and mother of 12, including four with genuine handicaps - 3 adopted.
Posted by: Barbara | February 20, 2011 1:21 PM
