April 14, 2011 7:59 AM
Motherhood: a cup overflowing
This is an unexpectedly heartstring-tugging time of motherhood. With the majority of my 12 kids launched into adulthood, it's surprising how their hopes/dreams/trials and tribulations are constantly on the edges of my consciousness throughout the day. I find myself praying for them constantly.
It's so different from raising them when they were little, when it was all activity and planning and trying to shape them to become good men and women. Now they are good men and women facing their own realities - some filled with joy and some with struggles.
And with my oldest grandchild now 18 and he and his brothers growing more independent, I hear about their issues and pray for them too.
I spent the day with Matt's help putting the finishing touches on reorganizing the two boys' rooms - Jonny and Jesse in one and Daniel and Justin in the other. Also getting out the summer clothes and beginning that process. It is a tremendous help to have a strong young man to help. At 62, I've lost a lot of strength in terms of lifting and carrying heavy stuff. And my stamina is not the same. It's not that without his help it would have taken me twice as long - it's more that without his help it would have taken four times as long.
He also graciously babysat the three youngest Downzers while Jonny and I went to have dinner and hear Maddy sing at Magnolia's. Zach met us there as it's right down the street from where Matt and Zach have their apartment. Everything was wonderful - the dinner and the singing. Maddy's keyboard player is Caleb Nei, who is just phenomenal. Together, they produce some very smooth jazz - plus an eclectic mix of everything from Bob Dylan to "I've Got a Brand New Pair of Rollerskates." And hey, if you are ever singing in a restaurant, where you're kind of background for people's meals, whip out a kazoo - like Maddy does in the aforementioned song. At the first notes of the kazoo, the restaurant will stop dead :)
We were just about to leave when Zach got a text from Josh. We already knew that earlier in the day they'd reinserted the thoracic drain to catch the fluid still leaking from Hattie's lung. There is a small hole in her lung that needs to close - which is why they had to reinstall the ventilator. Please pray for that specifically. But last night they also found that she is leaking spinal fluid, so they had to put a lumbar drain in too.
They've been keeping her very sedated as the ventilator is so uncomfortable and frustrating. Hattie is a young woman who likes to talk! But she has to be weaned off the heaviest meds in order to take it out. They're hoping for tomorrow - please pray for that.
It was funny to feel so surrounded by my kids even when they're on their own. I love them all so much. Motherhood has been truly the greatest gift and privilege - to think that God entrusts us with these precious little souls and that we have the free will to raise them as we see fit. And that we know so little going into the whole endeavor. That even as we are shaping their spiritual formation and character, God is shaping ours.
It's just amazing!
On the way home, I talked to Samantha - mother of six of my grandchildren - to relay the news about Hattie and got caught up on my grandchildren. I had talked to Sophia earlier in the day because she is coming home for a weekend at the end of the month - they've already had Spring Break at Liberty and she didn't get to come home because her choir was touring :( - I miss her! Also Ben called earlier to talk about his graduate school choices. Did I tell you this? He was accepted at Eastman, which is the best music school in the country. But he was also accepted at Peabody School of Music, which offered him more money. So he needs to make a decision by Friday where he will go.
Read Jesse, Daniel and Justin's report cards when I got home. So it was a day packed with my children - my favorite kind of day. I am so glad I had so many children! And I always tell this to parents contemplating their family size: I meet people all the time who wish they'd had more kids, but I never meet anyone who wishes they'd had fewer.
Maddy and Caleb gained some fans and potential jobs last night. Maddy's #1 fan Jonny had an absolutely wonderful time cheering his sister on. And our dear friends Jack and Jean Burden - who've become Maddy's adoptive grandparents and also #1 fans - were there to share. They've been a real blessing to Maddy and to us, as we have no grandparents to speak of and it is so wonderful how they fill that gap.
I have two doctor appointments today. The first is with the orthopedic surgeon about my hands, which have some kind of arthritis. The second is the second part of the procedures to close my varicose veins. I am feeling old - like I can see that distant shore more clearly than I used to - and I have to admit I don't like the weakness that comes with age. But God is good, as the rewards - the richness of seeing my children growing and facing life's challenges with poise and the peace that passes understanding - makes it so worth it.
Most readers here have younger children and I know your days are now very different than mine. I guess it's just because I've been raising kids for 42 years and still have 5 under 19 at home that I feel so connected. I know those years when it's all hard work can be frustrating, But please know, that you have so many rewards coming.
I didn't get to post much this week because Tripp has been out of town since Sunday. I don't blog about that for security reasons, but he's coming home today and I am very happy about that :)
I have big plans for things I want to write about once everything is in order: more on TantrumProofing Your Child and a couple movie reviews - plus I am way behind in what was supposed to be a monthly newsletter and was until last December.
Oh - and Holy Week links and ideas.
I will be catching up soon.
Maybe you'd like to browse newsletters from last year?
February 2010 Snow Apocalypse Edition
March 2010: Spring Is Coming Edition
Posted in Family, My life | Permalink
Comments
Barbara,
I love when you share glimpses of your daily life like this. It's such an inspiration and so wonderful to hear that you enjoy your children at any age. As a young mom it's really encouraging.
Thanks
Posted by: Addie | April 14, 2011 10:23 AM
Thank you for taking the time to provide some motherly insight to those of us who may be too caught up in the microcosm of the day-to-day to look out into the great beyonds, where our children are no longer with us physically, but still keep us busy with prayers and worries and cheers.
It was funny when you mentioned hearing the "I wish we had had more children" because I finally heard those disclosures from my own mom and paternal grandmother when I had my 5th child in January. They had never mentioned this before and seemed to advocate a smaller and easier to "manage" family when I was having my second and third children. I guess seeing first hand the blessings of a full home made them remember these sweet days and how quickly they pass.
It is a unique opportunity to have the perspective you do and a blessing that you share it with other women in the process of building their families.
Posted by: kelly | April 14, 2011 11:24 AM
Still praying for Hattie, Barbara.
Oh, it's so nice to hear you talk about your kids. This was such a good article to read because it gives me a glimpse of what's ahead for me and some understanding. Thank you for that.
Posted by: Sue from Buffalo | April 14, 2011 12:19 PM
Offering my prayers for Hattie and Josh. Praying for Hattie's healing and peace and comfort. Praying for EEwisdom and discernment of all who treat her.
Thank you for this post and for sharing a glimpse into your remarkable life. You are blessed and you are a blessing to others.
Posted by: Karen V. | April 14, 2011 3:25 PM
Barbara,
I love it when you share what is going on in your family. I am definitely at the peak of having lots of littles, but slowly turning the corner as my oldest is 10 now. Many of my days are maxxed out, but I remember that God is with me, and hey I"m still young :)
Praying for Josh and Hattie. Please keep us posted. Hattie seems like a strong woman of faith.
God bless her!
Lisa
Posted by: Lisa | April 14, 2011 5:16 PM
