August 10, 2011 6:46 PM
Moving blues - almost normal!
First, my Internet woes: I have given up on Hughes - after they postponed two appointments due to "lack of equipment." Went to the Verizon store today and took my chances on a Verizon Aircard for $80/month. Cheaper than Hughes, but has a 10G/month limit. I have no idea how that will play out with my blogging, but I have 14 days to change my mind. So as far as blogging/writing goes, I have no reason not to be full steam ahead - except for a hundred boxes still waiting to be unpacked.
I was so confused and discombobulated before the move that while I got rid of a lot of stuff before, I still had to pack stuff to make a decision on after I got here. Craigslist and I have become Proverbs 31 bosom buddies as I've sold and given away stuff that didn't fit our new house, while buying things that did. I am constantly amazed at God's hand in this online wheeling and dealing. I got an incredible bedroom set for Jonny and Jesse for $200 that just needed a little refinishing on the top surfaces - something Tripp was able to accomplish easily before we moved. Also a great new desk set for Tripp - which he needs for his new job - for a fraction of its worth. And bookshelves to replace the built-ins where we lived in Bluemont. All are really good quality and bargains. Did I say I love Craigslist?
We had a lot of help throughout the move from our grownup kids and their friends. We also hired Josh's company Kinsman Contractors to help us on the main day of the move - August 1. Most problems melted like lemon drops away above the chimney tops. However on the night of the 1st, after moving almost all our belongings to the Lovettsville house, Tripp went back to Bluemont to tie up some loose ends. We had been experiencing scattered thunder showers in Loudoun throughout the day, and we had a couple bolts of lightning at 6:30 or so when the power went out completely at our new address. I was here with the Downzers surrounded by a mass confusion of boxes and no idea where our flashlights were. I unpacked some candles, but couldn't find any matches. No phone either, since the inside cordless system is electric. And of course, my wireless was out of batteries.
It was getting darker and darker and I was wondering what in the world I was going to do with the kids in a dark house - and frankly just a little scared myself - when there was a knock on the door and our friend Jack Burden, who'd brought us pizzas for dinner, showed up with camping lanterns. God provides - but He needs us to help Him! Got the kids to bed and Tripp came back to the dark house and we all tumbled onto our mattresses dirty and sweaty from a record-breaking hot day of heavy moving (in the country, when your power goes out, it means no water since the pump needs electricity to draw water - and of course, we had no air conditioning).
Woke up at 2:30 AM and the power was on! Hallelujah!
But we have been working hard ever since to bring over the tail end of our stuff and to organize everything here.
This has been hard. I don't want to whine, but I am not a normal 63 year old. I'm still dealing with 6 kids at home - though two are off to college this month - and way too much stuff for someone my age to be carrying around. I touched on this earlier and have written about it in my upcoming Catholic Herald column. At this age, it seems that normal things like moving or dealing with a child's operation take a 300% toll. I am aging by the minute and anxious for everything to settle so I can rest a little.
I love our new house. I can see the wisdom in God's plan as our last house was charming and quirky but not very conducive to organizing the Downzers' lives in such a way that they could operate independently. It's hard to explain, but if I took you on a tour of our new house, I could show you how the common-sense layout will encourage their independence so they will be able to think things through and take charge of their daily routine.
So two wonderful outcomes from our move: letting go of material attachment (which I wrote about before) and helping the Curtis Brothers - Jonny, Jesse, Daniel, and Justin - reach their potential. Definitely worth the moving expenses and accelerated aging process.
So you would think.
But then, Tripp went into Leesburg to take our keys back to Brown Carrera on August 3. Remember, the owners of the home we'd rented for three years had given us notice because they wanted to come back to Virginia to live there again. Just as he was putting the keys into our property manger's hand, the wife/partner came down the office stairs and said:
"You'll never believe what happened. I just got an email saying Mr. _________ had found a job and they will not be coming back."
I suppose there would have been a time when I was bitter and angry. I suppose I would have felt ripped off and cheated and very much the victim. After losing our home to foreclosure in 2008, for three years we'd been blessed to rent a country property very similar to those we'd owned. It even had a pool - a blessing for our four sons with Down syndrome who kept in shape and gained self-confidence by daily swimming. We lived in a teensy off-the-beaten-path town with the best neighbors anyone could hope for.
But we had to leave because the owners were coming home. Then they turned out to be not coming home at all.
But I know God had a plan. We don't have a pool, but we have a friend who invites us to use hers. Our town is bigger, but I hope to make many more friends. And I am secure that God has us right where He wants us. I am committed to letting go of things I do not need and that is a very freeing feeling.
To me, the greatest challenge is continuing to live life while still not settled in.
This weekend, Ben and Anna are driving down from Rochester to visit. So wonderful to look forward to all being together for a day.
We had permission to leave Sophia's stuff in the garage until she returns to school and we were hoping not to move it twice. On August 16, some part of the Curtis Family will help her move back to Lynchburg. Tripp and I are supposed to take Maddy to see Bob Dylan that night.
Jonny has surgery on August 18.
Maddy moves to Catholic University August 25. The Downzers go back to school August 29.
Would it sound off somehow to say I am waiting for September for my personal ship to stop being tossed by the waves of my kids' lives and to settle into a routine of writing and maybe even a little reading?
Life is so demanding, complicated, confusing, crazy, messy, This longing I have for it to be just the way I want it - the belief that if I just get everything unpacked and correctly situated I will be happy forever - please tell me I'm not the only optimist out here. Do you struggle too?
But mostly, please let us pray for each other that we will see - even when it is hard to see - that no matter the disappointments, God has a plan. It's our job to keep discerning it.
I have so missed being connected to my readers. Hoping to be back soon!
Comments
Oh I am so glad you wrote this! So glad to know I'm not the only one who doesn't just "feel" overwhelmed, but really is overwhelmed as life just seems to whirl me around too fast to catch my breath!
You aren't the only one looking forward to September:)
Posted by: Shannon Miller | August 10, 2011 9:56 PM
Good to hear an update - been thinking of you this week. Oh, boy! Just when you got all moved, you find out you could have stayed. Wow. I agree, tho, it must be the way God wanted it. I just moved furniture and vacuumed for a major clean, and I needed a couple of days to recover from that, so I CANNOT imagine moving my large family.
Now that all the summer activities and ESY are done, I'm looking forward to Sept. too, and the structure it provides all of us.
Posted by: Kate J | August 10, 2011 10:39 PM
Barb,
I was just organizing for this coming Fall,took a break, and you blogged:):) It gave me the opportunity to just read in my little corner of the world and for a bit escape the demands of my life and rest my aging achy body. Knowing another Mom goes through the same helps me greatly. I am currently dealing with what comes with the territory of being a military Mom so I am grateful for your thoughts and sharing your life.
I too struggle...
When you said.."the belief that if I just get everything unpacked and correctly situated I will be happy forever"--thank you for saying..I laughed and thought me too..I think sometimes the demands of serving and motherhood-- I am losing ground and my mind at times.
I will pray the rosary for you and all the readers out there tonight--for strenghth to continue to serve...+JMj+
Posted by: Eileen | August 10, 2011 10:56 PM
You're not alone in the ordered house = just-out-of-reach bliss illusion. Robs me of a lot of joy sometimes.
Posted by: Marian | August 10, 2011 11:08 PM
Oh, do I understand!! We didn't have to move (thank goodness) but there has been a litany of "drop everything and go to the next thing" all this summer for me. And important things, too.
I started to write my litany and then realized that, believe me, no one would want to hear it. lol.
I don't think that I've ever wished away my summer like I have this one. I don't like wishing away time because it is so precious but I am looking forward to September when my "litany" of things will be completed and I will be able to get our home looking normal again.
At least, I hope I can get it looking normal again. lol. Sometimes things have a way of not working out the way you expect.
So!! I am going outside for my stress relieving/hopefully weight reducing walk (grin) and will pray for both you and me, my friend.
Hang in there.
Love,
Sue
Posted by: Sue from Buffalo | August 11, 2011 5:40 AM
Being a military wife with a large family- I totally understand what you're going through. We've even experienced what you've gone through with the house. We would get put on the housing waiting list, have to rent a house because we're too far down on the wait list to live in a hotel for a long term, and the day we sign the rental paperwork and take possession of the house, housing calls to let us know they have a house for us on post. It's rather frustrating.
Please rest. Take care of yourself. Those boxes can wait a few extra hours. We'll be entering the flu season soon and you don't need to be so worn down that you'll end up getting sick.
You're in my prayers, along with the rest of your family. Peace be with you Barb!!!
Posted by: Dirtdartwife | August 11, 2011 9:03 AM
I hear ya. I feel like I'm in a constant state of "if only..." ughhhhh!
Posted by: JenS | August 11, 2011 9:45 AM
Glad to hear everything went well. It does sound tiring, but also full of new opportunities. Looking forward to hearing more about the new house. Have a great day!!!
Posted by: LadyLovas | August 11, 2011 10:09 AM
Wow, prayers for your new beginning.
Posted by: Kerri | August 11, 2011 10:30 AM
I have that same feeling of "when X is finished, then I will be calm!" We're redecorating our house and turning one of our living areas into a master bedroom. I can't tell you how many times I've thought "when we finally get the bedroom finished, I can relax!" Of course, in the mean time I'm allowing myself to get frazzled at it NOT being finished.
It sounds like you are rolling with the punches pretty well with the moving fiasco, though I'm sure you'll be happy when you are done!
Posted by: Lauren | August 11, 2011 10:53 AM
I'm afraid this has been a summer of "things are not going to go as you planned" for me as well. However, unfortunately I have not been nearly as gracious as you about the unexpected "events". Thanks for the reminder to just let go of my control freak nature and enjoy what life brings me.
Posted by: Maggie Dee | August 11, 2011 11:07 AM
{{ oh dear online friend }} I always think of summer as time to get those big projects done that don't squeeze in the school year, and struggle with that outraged, "Hey WAIT! I didn't sign on for all of these unplanned crises!" Have to remind ourselves always that it is for our sanctification. Praying for a patch of peace for you.
Posted by: Kimberly | August 11, 2011 2:38 PM
It's been about 2 years of things not going as planned here. I wish I could be as gracious as you are about the unexpected, but for me I've found it a struggle to hold on to my faith. Good luck in the new house. I hope finding the blessings in God's plan comes quickly.
Posted by: Diane | August 11, 2011 2:48 PM
Barbara,
It's so good to "see" you back at the keyboard!
I do hope you get some rest soon!
I can totally relate to what you said at the end of your post. :) Somehow, though... I know that God refines us during these times of chaos. It is not what we would choose, but somehow we come out a little bit more... uh.. tolerant I guess after a trial.
Praying you get some rest! So glad you've decided to be better and not bitter. :)
Lisa
Posted by: Lisa | August 11, 2011 4:17 PM
Hey good buddy...read your moving litany with so many potential "last straws" that could have broken a camel's back--and yours too--but God saw you through! His grace was sufficient and is sufficient and will be sufficient. No matter what season of life we are in, we all keep going through the same pattern of frustration and just want the merry-go-round to STOP. By now you know it doesn't! September will have a new set of challenges! My prayers will keep flowing in your direction for YOU first of all, and for your precious household.YOU WILL MAKE IT, GIRL!
Leona
Posted by: Leona Choy | August 11, 2011 5:03 PM
I hear you, sister! We moved into our house 7 years ago, and it seems that just the time we are feeling settled in, we realize that we have really outgrown the house. Bedroom space is cramped and kitchen table has no elbow room. Hubby's work schedule is so full and life is so busy right now, there's no time to address the issue. But life just keeps flying along at breakneck speed. And I keep looking forward to the next season, when maybe I will get a chance to catch my breath. But I hate wishing my life away. I will pray that you get a chance to put your feet up a bit. I know the feeling of being overwhelmed. Take care of yourself, and know that you're being thought of and prayed for. Blessings to you and your family.
Posted by: Debbie | August 11, 2011 9:26 PM
Barbara,
How blessed you are!! You have children still at home, settling into a new house, and work to do (I always say work is good!). The exercise is good for you and perhaps you can just continue with an exercise program--something you enjoy like walking your new neighborhood and meeting new people! You truly are blessed and this too will pass. Blessings!
Posted by: Ellen McClure | August 12, 2011 12:03 AM
Hi Barbara!
"Struggling" right alongside you! You and your family have been in my prayers as you make this move. Embracing God's plan has its bumps, but ultimately He will carry us right to where we belong. Please know that prayers continue as you and your dear family make this transition.
Blessings,
Amelia
Posted by: A Mac and a Mug O' Joe | August 12, 2011 5:40 AM
Barbara - You, Tripp and the kids have been such troopers through all this turmoil of moving and other assorted calamities - such as the sewer pipe backing up into the furnace, Tripp's knee surgery and Jasmine's estrangement etc,m etc. Despite whatever chaos or struggle you are enduring, you manage to inspire and strengthen the faith, hope, knowledge and sense of humor of so many of us. Your authenticity is priceless. God bless!
Posted by: Judy | August 12, 2011 1:05 PM
Barbara, So happy to know your now in your new home. Through out all the many trials & tribulations you perservered. You are open to God's graces and your cooperation is amazing to behold. May God bless you & your dear family for all your many needs & concerns & may He thrill your 63 year old bones:)
Posted by: Elle | August 14, 2011 11:21 AM
Dear Barbara, you continue to teach me with your example of graciousness and being open to His will. thank you for blessing me with these thoughts even in the midst of your own struggles.
We moved almost 2 years ago and I still can't figure out why, reading your post makes me realize I need to be more open to recognizing the signs and more willing to participate in God's plan for our family.
I pray for peace for your family, and that you are settled soon. take it easy on yourself, those boxes will still be there when you have gotten some rest. god Bless you for helping us at this busy time for you!
Posted by: Danielle M. | August 15, 2011 6:18 PM
Hi Barbara, just stumbled onto your blog while researching how on earth to get reliable Internet service out here... I'd have thought there would have been some progress over the 7 years we've been gone! Anyway, just wanted to drop you a line to say it was the day after you signed your new lease that we told brown-carrera we had had another life shift and wanted you to stay. We were devastated that we were too late to keep you. But, as you say (and I envy you your faith), there must be a plan. As I write this, I am sitting in the swing in the front porch, semi-moved back here after all!
Posted by: Kate | August 19, 2011 8:01 AM
