October 15, 2011 9:59 AM
Motherhood and the Great Adventure
I know some of you get a little annoyed with my references to Catholicism - and am grateful for everyone who doesn't walk away from my blog in a huff. Believe me, I am grateful for my evangelical roots as they afforded me an opportunity some people miss in the Catholic Church (which is why they leave unsatisfied).
But 20 years of songs that became anthems and touchstones in my life are still very much part of me. Today, I woke up singing "Saddle Up Your Horses" by Steven Curtis Chapman, and I wanted to share with you why that was so important in my motherhood journey.
This is an excerpt from my book Lord, Please Meet Me in the Laundry Room: Heavenly Help for Earthly Moms
And so I learned the sweetness of surrender - that I could put my life in the hands of a Loving Father and expect that the outcome would be good. That if I stopped living for me and started living for Him, my life would be filled with joy.I guess I could have surrendered my life to Christ and secured my salvation and come home and continued living for me. But after so many years of living without God, I was so grateful to experience His love, I really wanted to live for Him. This has meant going beyond simple obedience, but actually surrendering each moment to Him.
Not that I've always been perfectly on target, but since 1987 my life has been governed by the revelation that surrender doesn't mean defeat over anything but my own selfishness. And as my selfishness is defeated, my capacity for joy is fulfilled
Here's what I mean:
1 Samuel 15:23 says "To obey is better than sacrifice." But surrender is better than than both. To do the right thing in the right spirit - that's what it's really all about.
Surrender doesn't mean saying, Okay, if I have to, then gritting my teeth and clenching my fists and willing myself to be obedient. As a mom, I have so many things that elicit that response - things like muddy shoes and dirty bathtubs and getting up in the middle of the night to change a wet bed.
And I could go through the motions and do them without ever saying Yes! I could do them and be bitter, not better. I could be obedient and never feel God's pleasure.
Surrendering means saying yes with a smile, actively embracing whatever life sends my way each day and each night. Yes, God I'll do that!
One of the most important things I've learned is this: There are the big events in life and the big choices - Will we get married, will we move or will we stay, how many children, will I work or will I stay home?
But most of life is lived in between, in the little things. And most of these things you can't change. You can't change the last thirty minutes in which your toddler scribbled all over the wall with permanent marker or how many poopy diapers your kids will have this week.
As a wife and mother, you have a lot you could feel discouraged, frustrated, depressed, maybe even resentful or bitter about. Each of us, no matter how good our intentions, has these moments. God hasn't given me the task of writing books because I do these things perfectly, but because I've thought about them and tried to live them.
The important thing to know is that it is our choice how we feel about what we do. I can't change a lot of the circumstances of my life, but I can change my attitude. I can decide to fall in love with what I do - no matter how difficult it seems. And when God asks a little extra of me, I can say Yes!
A year after Jonny's birth, Madeleine was born. Since Jonny's development was delayed [due to Down syndrome], they grew up like twins - babbling, playing, taking their first steps together. But we knew it wouldn't be long before Maddy's progress would outstrip her brother's (still, to this day, they're close like twins, though - always looking out for the other). Tripp and I felt led to adopt another baby with Down syndrome to grow up with Jonny. And so we ended up in 1995 with our tenth child, Jesse Mateo. Which we thought would be the end, until in 1996 we were asked to adopt Daniel, and then in 2000 Justin.
People tell me, Oh I could never do what you do...you are so patient.... Really, I am no one special. I'm just a woman who has learned to say yes to God, a woman who's learned how to surrender.
But when I think back to the beginning, there were some things it took me quite a while to surrender to - things like not expecting my house to look perfect and not expecting to sleep through the night.
That's why I can tell you from experience that the sooner you surrender, the happier you'll be.
Today you might be tired because someone was up all night with an earache. You might be looking at four loads of laundry and the dryer just broke and Sears can't come out until Thursday. Your hyperactive daughter may be whining because she's hungry even though you just finished breakfast 37 and a half minutes ago. The phone is ringing and you wanted the answering machine to get it, but your son is bringing it to you proudly and it is on. Someone has a poopy diaper (at what point in our lives can we stop saying the word poopy?). There are dirty socks on the kitchen counter (you mothers of preschoolers need to know that no matter what kind of Godly home you have, no matter how tastefully decorated, no matter how firm your rules, it is a genetic thing with boys that they shed rolled up socks all day all over the house. If you have more than one boy, of course, you can never identify who the particular shedder of each pair is, but no matter who picks them up, your laundry time is increased fifty percent because of having to unroll each little sock ball before inserting it in the machine.) You need to go to the grocery store, but the baby's asleep, but by the time the baby wakes up, your husband will be home expecting dinner. Do you dare serve him fish sticks again?
Yeah, I have those days too.
To prepare for them, I psyche myself up for a day of mothering by blasting Steven Curtis Chapman's "Saddle up Your Horses":
Saddle up your horses we've got a trail to blaze
Through the wild blue yonder of God's amazing grace
Let's follow our leader into the glorious unknown
This is a life like no other - this is The Great AdventureThat's all I could include in my book, but here is the video:Steven Curtis Chapman - Saddle Up Your Horses
and lyrics
I doubt if Steven Curtis Chapman was thinking about a mother's life when he wrote those lines, but I find them absolutely applicable - don't you? It is a life like no other. It is a glorious unknown, a wild blue yonder of God's amazing grace.
Motherhood is Our Great Adventure - the opportunity God has given us especially to learn the lessons He wants us to learn. When I'm distracted during the day from that purpose, just reminding myself can make me smile.
Emily Dickinson said "The soul should stand ajar, waiting for the ecstatic experience." I may not be able to write poetry like she did, but I can sure relate. Motherhood has a way of keeping my soul standing ajar. Having oodles of children can lead to lots of mistakes and messes, but it can also lead to miracles and merriment. I just need to be ready for them, take the time to enjoy them thoroughly, and remember to give thanks for these little reminders to stop taking things so seriously and to have more fun with the job God has given me.
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