November 17, 2011 10:34 AM
Abortion through a grandmother's eyes
This family is working through some real heartaches with grace. Kelly Clinger is a performer.former backup singer for Britney Spears who had two abortions in her early 20s and is now a prolife speaker for Silent No More:Abortion through a grandmother's eyes: shame, fear, failure...and grace
Since going incredibly public with my abortions, my parents have been so supportive. They have prayed for me, watched my kids while I travel, and loved me through the tough days. In many ways, however, they have been silent about their feelings. I knew they needed time to process, grieve, and go through all of the emotions that abortion brings. Last night, I received a letter from my Mom...and I want to share it. It's an honest look at how it feels to be the mother of a girl who's had an abortion and the grandmother of aborted grandchildren...and it's a reminder that abortion affects so many more people than we even realize.
Dear Kelly,
This morning, a series of events led me to go to your website. I have spent the last several hours reading your blogs and the comments that follow. I am asking the Holy Spirit to guide my mind and hands as I write this letter to you. I am writing this with a heart filled with love and admiration. My heart aches for the pain you have endured and it yearns for the clock that I wish I could turn back and change the mistakes your father and I made in raising our daughters. It is not fair that hindsight is so clear!
Kelly ClingerIt would be very easy for me to defend every decision your dad and I made as you were growing up. I could say, "We did the best we could", or "You have no idea what we were going through", or how about this one..."We were young and stupid and no one taught us how to be parents!" We made a conscious effort to protect our daughters from every hurtful, damaging, and unsafe situation that came along. Because we both grew up in very "unsafe" families, we thought that was the answer to raising happy, healthy daughters. Every decision we made was with that goal in mind. I think that was a noble goal...but, with unintended consequences.
As I have learned more and more about the struggles that you have overcome, I keep asking myself the same question. "Why didn't Kelly come to me and let me help her through this time in her life?"; "Why did she feel she could not trust that I would walk with her through her pain?" What you don't know is that I WAS struggling with you through this time...I just did not know WHY. I was not strong enough to ask you for the truth because I was afraid of the answer. In my heart, I knew the truth...but I was so afraid of losing you and my granddaughter, I stepped into the shadow and prayed that God would protect you both.
As you are learning each day, parenting is like shooting at a target. Sometimes you hit a bulls eye, but most of the time, you are just lucky to hit the target! If your dad and I could look at your "growing-up" target, we would see a few bulls eyes, but I know there were far too many near misses and, Lord knows, there were too many complete misses! My heart aches for another shot at it, knowing what I know now!
As I watch you and your sister raising your children, I am grateful that you have taken the mistakes that your father and I made and are working so hard to correct them in your parenting.
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