November 23, 2011 10:29 AM
Thanksgiving - our family traditions
I never liked Thanksgiving growing up. I grew up in a home where Bloody Marys for the adults began a day of nonstop drinking, arguing, and possibly a fight tumbling out the front door and onto the lawn. It was a day I didn't look forward to.
[Okay, there is a way to look at this with more of a sense of humor - as my friend the Invisi-Gal has done at Drop Kick that Bird...one more time .]
A lot of the reason I write today is to share with people who grew up as I did - people without good parenting or strong family roots or meaningful holiday traditions - to share how Tripp and I yearned early on in our parenting to create a family with purpose and meaning. Becoming Christians in 1987, and then beginning homeschooling in 1990, we found the missing pieces to our spiritual and cultural heritage.
Thanksgiving is now a day of great importance to us - a day in which we try not only to carry on the traditions, but to make time to talk about them in a new and fresh way with our children. I know there are families out there who grew up with rich and meaningful Thanksgiving traditions and are passing these on to their children. But for those who may wonder exactly how to go about building a Thanksgiving legacy for their family, I just want to share what our day will look like tomorrow.
Now, since we have older, married kids whom we share with in-laws, we have to be flexible. For 2011, this means we have shifted dinner from early afternoon to evening - the upside being that we get to go to Mass in the morning. Ben and Anna won't be home at all as Ben has to work.
On Thanksgiving morning, we will DVR the Macy's Parade to watch after Mass. But first the turkey, which Tripp and I do together: stuffing - a mixture of cornbread, wheat bread, sausage, mushrooms, celery, onions - and preparing the turkey which has been brined overnight.
We will move the table from the kitchen into the dining room to lengthen the dining room table, set the table for 20, decorate, and begin cooking.
In the meantime, Tripp will be enlisting different family members to read certain Bible verses for a family Thanksgiving service he plans each year. We will gather in the living room and sing Thanksgiving hymns interspersed with scripture and the story of the Pilgrims. We will pray together.
Then our annual picture of us all at the table, followed by the mad last-minute scramble to do the last-minute things like mashing potatoes, making gravy from the drippings, sauteing mushrooms, heating rolls, slicing turkey and serving up the vegetables.
We'll start with grace - we usually sing Let All Things Their Creator Bless (last verse of All Creatures of Our God and King) - and then begin our meal. Like some of you with large families with lots of little kids, this is not a picture-book, pass-the-gravy type of event, but one where the adults first hover around the table serving the children who are too small to pass heavy bowls and platters, then finally serve themselves and plop down to enjoy a somewhat lukewarm meal.
But the most important part of the meal is not the food anyway - although that's pretty amazing with Sam's retro beans and Hattie's amazing cornbread pudding. The most important thing is the Five Kernels of Corn tradition which we've been doing for at least 15 years. Each person has five kernels of dried corn beside their plate to symbolize the year that followed the First Thanksgiving. Throughout the meal, we pass a special cup around and each person gives thanks for something while dropping in a kernel of corn. There is laughter and tears as we remember all that God has done and the people in our lives that mean so much to us.
When we started this, there were no grandchildren and our youngest children were too small to participate. What has been rewarding is to see the children grow and look forward to sharing their own individual thanksgivings.
I do hope some of you will consider adding this tradition to your Thanksgiving celebration/remembrance. It is a way to pass on to your children the specificity of gratitude and to show them what it really means and looks like to give thanks in all circumstances. This is something I hope my children will pass on to their own - long after Tripp and I are gone.
This year, as always, our family has much to be grateful for. Not just for what God has given us, but for what He has withheld or taken away. He always knows best.
How can I repay the Lord
for all his goodness to me?
O Lord, truly I am your servant. . .
you have freed me from my chains.
Psalm 116: 12, 16
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Comments
Oh, Barbara... my heart breaks for you as a child having these as your childhood family Thanksgiving memories. I was blessed to have been brought up with loving family memories of past Thanksgivings. I am so glad you and your family have found your own traditions and will be leaving these memories for your children and grandchildren. Your children will look back and love you for the choices you have made.
Posted by: Linda | November 25, 2011 1:16 PM
