November 15, 2012 7:07 PM
How I felt this morning....
Picked up Barbara's death certificates today, (you should order at least five for the different institutions that require verification of death.) Was able to handle a number of logistical issues for the Boyz, laundry, housework, and some tasks for the charities I do some sub-contract work for.
My new "normal" is anything but. Going to the grocery store, pharmacy, Costco, etc. everyone I see is in their everyday construct. I feel like I should have a sign or placard on my chest stating, "My wife and mother of our children just died and...." But I don't know what "and" is... I am in undiscovered country with uncharted waters. I am dealing with something that is inevitable to us all but wasn't prepared for in spite of my faith. Even though I'd like to pull the blanket over my head like the hound above...I won't be able to find my way in this new country or learn to navigate these waters unless I venture out each day and do what is in front of me to do. Thank you all for your prayers and support.
Still in His grip,
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My heart breaks for you and your children. I haven't lost a spouse so I don't know how that feels. I did lose both my parents within two years of each other...I was only 30 years old. Not the same I know, but I understand what it's like to find your life flipped upside down all of a sudden. I can say "Yes!" to all that you wrote. Put your head down, grit your teeth and put one foot in front of the other every day. By the grace of God, you WILL figure out what a new normal is. We continue to pray. God is faithful...just hang on.
Posted by: Chrissy | November 16, 2012 7:35 AM
Praying for your family today. May God's strong arms enfold you, comfort you and hold you up during this time.
Posted by: Debbie | November 16, 2012 7:48 AM
Perhaps you've heard Barbara say it before, but there's a saying..."just do the next thing." Sometimes that's all we can handle doing.
You and your family are in the thoughts and prayers of many this morning and in the hands of the Father.
Posted by: Thia | November 16, 2012 8:19 AM
"He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart." Psalm 91:4
"God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble." Psalm 46:1
"Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall." Psal 55:22
"The Lord is close to the broken-hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:18
Here are some scriptures to help you. If "One Day at a Time" is too much, go One minute at a time or even One second at a time. I'm so sorry you have to go through this--you were in my prayers last night over and over again. May the Lord lift your chin.
Don't give up.
Posted by: ~Becky | November 16, 2012 9:06 AM
You have blessed me today by sharing your experiences. It is a good reminder for me to be extra careful in how I interact with anyone I encounter during a "normal" day, you just never know what their placard might say. I will strive to be more Christlike to the people I meet today because of you. I hope you can in some small way feel the love and prayers out here for you, and consider them a blanket to wrap yourself up in. Please keep reaching out to us.
Posted by: Danielle M. | November 16, 2012 9:10 AM
Years ago, I got some bad medical news (I came through it fine, thank God). I had that same thought about wearing a sign reading "I HAVE CANCER!" I remember standing in the grocery line, watching people go about their business, and feeling like I was watching myself in a movie.
I'm so very sorry for you loss, and I'm praying constantly for God to give you comfort, guidance, and exactly what you need at exactly the right time.
Posted by: Susan | November 16, 2012 9:55 AM
Thanks so much for sharing with us... Becky left you some wonderful scriptures. I hope you will leave your bible open all day long and know that the Lord is going before you. He is holding you very close right now, he has never left.
Please know that many people are praying for you right now. Thanks for your specific update so we can know how to pray for you specifically...
Stay in His grip,
Posted by: Lisa | November 16, 2012 11:06 AM
Praying for you as you face so many new responsibilities - the jobs of both dad and mom! What you wrote reminded me also of the saying, "just do the next thing". I think our eyes would be opened if people were wearing signs about their current situation in life.
Posted by: Crystal | November 16, 2012 12:40 PM
Your post made me think back to my days in grad school when my grandmother died. When I returned to school and "normal" life I too felt like I should be wearing a sign. One of the most amazing people I knew in the world was gone, leaving the world a poorer place and no one around me seemed to know or care. I felt so numb and dazed. That feeling passed though I still miss my grandmother and feel that loss. I'm so glad I had the chance to know someone so extraordinary.
Barbara was truly an extraordinary soul as well and her passing has created large holes in people’s lives though none more than you and your children. I pray for you. I wish there was more I could offer but know that there are others who got a glimpse at how amazing Barbara was.
Posted by: Diane | November 16, 2012 2:01 PM
I love that video.
You are all in my prayers.
Posted by: Denise | November 16, 2012 2:18 PM
I have been/am in shoes similar to yours. Having to deal with unfamiliar things and tasks, in addition to all the things that must be taken care of when your spouse passes away. Our family continues to pray for yours. The best thing I can do is begin every day giving thanks to God for His blessings, and then ask Him to guide my steps as I go through each day. I have found that thinking ahead beyond just what is necessary does me no good, but that if I trust the Lord to hold my hand and take me through the day, things seem to fall into place. Remember that Barbara is still watching over you all, and that she is waiting on you all to be with her one day. God bless and keep each one of you as you navigate your way through these uncharted waters. You have many, many people praying for your peace and strength.
Posted by: Nana | November 16, 2012 4:39 PM
You are in my daily thoughts and prayers thru these difficult days. You are right - you can do it, and you will do it. Pull that blanket over your head if you need to, from time to time. I know it is not easy, but may each day bring you little signposts of comfort and steadiness as you venture forth.
Posted by: Kate J | November 16, 2012 7:20 PM
Thank you for continuing to let us in to your world. I wish that many of us were in much closer proximity so we could give you some practical help!
There are no pat answers to give... you have experienced a great loss, but again, please know that you are being upheld in prayer. Thank you for being so authentic and real. You are a blessing to the Body of Christ...but we weep with you as you walk through this valley of grief and face the daily reality of life without your wonderful partner by your side. So sorry. So sorry.
In Him, Debbie K.
Posted by: Debbie Kierstead | November 16, 2012 9:12 PM
Like Momma used to say...."Do the next thing..."
Momma, pray for us!
I wish I lived closed by to help you out. I will pray that God sends tangible help your way.
How are the boys holding up? My heart breaks for you all, but specially for them. That's when understanding God's plans gets really hard. But we must trust.
Posted by: LadyLovas | November 17, 2012 12:13 AM
I watched the video, first, and laughed out loud! Just like I did so many times at Barb's posts with my coffee in hand. It felt like her post:)
I read your post with tears. I will continue to pray. I wish I had something better to say.
Hang in there Tripp. You are an amazing human being that will be lifted up. HE is right next to you walking with you.
Posted by: Eileen | November 17, 2012 12:24 PM
I can't imagine what you're going through - but your words do paint a picture. I am praying for you and your kids. Jesus, be near.
Posted by: Sue | November 17, 2012 11:51 PM
Dear Papa Tripp, We are praying for all of you during this hard time. I am so thankful that you are writing to all of us and letting us know how you are doing. I have read MommyLife for over six years... since our firstborn was a little baby. I really miss Barbara, but hearing about how you and your family is doing is easing some of my sadness.
Posted by: Emily | November 18, 2012 12:58 PM
I was washing dishes just now and praying and got to wondering what had happened to Barbara. I even had to turn the computer back on to find out, but I wanted to be able to pray for you all more carefully.
I hurt for you all. It's hard to see why God let this happen to your family.
Here's one more person praying for you, and I'll let my mom know so she can pray, too; I've been telling her about Barbara for years.
The only thing good I remember about 9/11 was that for once, everyone around was going through the same pain I was; every other time it's been like you describe.
Posted by: Cheri Fields | November 18, 2012 9:04 PM
Tripp, I've been thinking about this since the day you posted it. I almost feel your numbness.
Thank you for being honest and transparent with us. Barbara's audience and friends are concerned with how you and the rest of the family are doing. She shared you with us and we've grown to love and care about all of the Curtis'.
You're doing well! Keep the faith!
Posted by: von | November 18, 2012 10:07 PM
Dear Tripp, I'm praying for you and your family. I think about you all often.
Posted by: Deborah | November 18, 2012 10:35 PM