January 27, 2013 12:12 AM

The Ties that Bind.....

ties that bind.JPG
Maddy and Zach came home to visit this weekend and cheer me up.  It's such a blessing with Barbara gone that she left me with the legacy of our children. We went to see the Hobbit, which I found delightful....and then Zach treated us to dinner at Longhorn, a family favorite.

It's interesting because everything we do now is in the shadow of Barbara not being there. I can understand now the pain that a man or a woman is dealing with after their spouse has died and why they give up the will to live.  My mother died on 8/30/2002, the day I sent my own family east to Virginia. I had to stay behind to finalize the sale of our business,(Mr. Trees) which didn't close until 10/31, (Halloween) of that year.  For that three months I lived with Dave, my step father in my mother's house....and we grieved together.  I commuted back and forth across the country during that time...but most of it was spent with him.  They were married and he had been my step father for 33 years, but those last three months we were together, bound us together. After the closing, and I left him alone to go east with my family....Dave died two days later. The day of his death, he had lunch with a loyal friend and showed him where he wanted his ashes put when he died.  A place close to where he had put Mom's ashes, but as he said in his instruction, "not so close to her that he would bother her, but close enough to visit."
God knits us together with others.....whether family or friends....these are the ties that bind. I am grateful for my ties to her....and the ties that hold me here.  Leave you tonight with a song our  children shared a few years back..
                            Always remember, there was nothing worth sharing
                                  Like the love that let us share our name...

In His grip,
Papa Tripp


Love,
signature.gif

Posted in | Permalink

Comments

Great photo! Johnny looks so cool dressed in black like his dad. The Hobbit and Longhorn are a super combo for a family outing. I keep prayin' for all of you as you walk this lonesome valley of bereavement.

Posted by: Judy | January 28, 2013 11:44 AM

Tripp,
If Barbara could speak right now, I think she would still encourage us to stay open to having large families. Yours is such a blessing during this time of grief.

Sometime down the road, maybe you/and or your children could share with us what has helped and not helped during your time of grief. My parents are in your age bracket, and some of their friends are dying. Today I ran into a long time family friend (in her 60's) who lost her husband almost a year ago. She said something about my recent miscarriages. I appreciated her acknowledgement of it, then I mentioned her late husband and how I am praying for her. I said that I thought of him as a saint. It was very very uncomfortable, because the whole time I was talking, her friend was looking at her with an expression like: " Is she going to cry?"
Then they both gave the body language that they needed to go... So I was left wondering if I had said the wrong thing.

Maybe someday down the road, you can enlighten us on the best way to encourage someone who has lost a spouse. My own experience of grief has been different because I have lost grandparents and had both early and later types of miscarriage that were a birth type of experience. I appreciate people acknowledging the miscarraiges, but I want to know how that differs from someone who has lost a person that was well known in the community.

Praying for you and your family...It is SO nice to see Maddy and the gang! Blessings to the entire Curtis family, and THANK YOU again for sharing your momma with us. Please know that her legacy lives on!
Lisa

Posted by: Lisa | January 28, 2013 5:45 PM

Dearest Papa Tripp,

I have such deep respect for you for the way you are walking this path of grief ~ missing your Beautiful Girl...your Dear Friend and Partner and Companion. Oh the sting of death that we taste this side of heaven.... I wish I could tell you how grateful I am for each sharing you give to us. They are treasures. After being mentored by Barbara these past 9 years...it is so sweet to see her from your eyes. What a beautiful picture of what a marriage can be.

I still haven't taken time to write about all that she meant to me... but have been praying about it and asking the Lord to reveal all that He would have me share....to give praise to Him for Barbara's life and to encourage you.

The Lord continues...day after day...to keep you and your grieving heart and your precious family in my prayers.

Peace, peace, comfort and grace to you!!!!

Jenny

Posted by: jenny fitzgerald | January 30, 2013 2:53 PM

Tripp, I had not been staying up-to-date on Mommy Life for a few months, with the busyness of the holidays, but I popped over last week and read of Barbara's death. I was heartbroken and cried for a family I have never met. Barbara encouraged me as a new mom adjusting to staying at home with my children, she shared heartfelt sympathy with me over a late-term miscarriage, she filled me with ideas of how to teach my children at home and how to value them for what they are. I feel so blessed to have "known" her through the miracle of technology. I lost my mother when I was 18, so I have an idea of how Maddie and Sophie may be feeling now. In a way, Barbara was like a mother to me as she encouraged me in young motherhood as I know my own mother would have done. How wonderful that they have this blog to look back on when they become mothers to get words of wisdom from their own mama.

As for you, I remember how my father grieved. And I remember his health suffered quite a bit that first year after my mom died. Please do take care of yourself. We here are delighted to remember and celebrate Barbara with you and are so thankful you have kept this blog open to share with us.

May the peace that passes all understanding be with you,
--Amanda

Posted by: Amanda Bindel | February 1, 2013 8:37 PM

Post a comment