June 30, 2013 9:14 PM

Day 243...Eight Months...Time the Revelator Pt. II...

Sunset june 2.jpg
As a man in the midst of a busy life with many responsibilities, my observance of grief has been one full of  revelations and surprises.  So many things I didn't know because she was the Mother and now she's not there to fill the gap and explain (she had the global view of our universe...mine was very linear....together we filled each other's gaps.) Here's a clip that demonstrates this from "Rocky"  where Paulie is questioning Rocky why he is interested in his sister Adrianne, (because Paulie thinks she's a loser.)  Rocky explains that, "she has gaps and I have gaps...and we fit together...if you know what I mean." So you know, Barbara filled in many of my gaps....clueless is a good adjective for this simple man in a fragmented Universe without her .....In reality, I am obliged to insure this is completed.....we made a covenant....
 I share this to prepare you...especially those of you who are spouses, whether Husband or Wife....who at some point may lose your beloved. God's best design of a family is made up of three strands of a rope constituting Himself, you, and your spouse...Without each other you are not whole.... if one of you dies or becomes incapacitated, then you have to allow God to make up the difference....and work through why you have been singled out for the gift of widowhood or carrying the burden alone as a single parent... I shared with you Papa Robin and how he was left with the four eggs in the nest....So amazing how God uses even the simplest of his creatures to show us His power of salvation and deliverance. Those eggs, so full of promise, but vulnerable and destined for death without Mama Robin hatched due to the diligence of Papa Robin who is now working double time to feed those four young robins. (See below) He and I differ in that his babes will soon leave the nest while these last four of mine will be with me until I go....But, Our God has given me encouragement through one of His beautiful creations...a Papa Robin who lost his mate and had to make do..
Four robins.jpg I have shared this with others who are close to me and now share with you....please  remember when your own your own trials come, or if you are dealing with them now....Here's the challenge....Do not use your suffering as a time to discover if you believe in God, but focus instead on discovering what you believe about Him. In times of suffering, God does not change, but what you believe about Him and what you understand about Him may change.... You will likely have questions to which you will never receive answers. It is human nature to want all the pieces to fit, to want to make sense of things. But there are times when that will not happen. As a human living on this side of death, you will not receive answers that truly satisfy you. The only satisfaction will come when you accept Jesus as Lord of your life and live each day seeking to walk in His Spirit..... "Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known" ....1 Corinthians 13:12....
God, instead of focusing on the questions, I want to start focusing on the Answer--You. Help me to better understand Your attributes and Your plan for my life. Amen.

You all know my "one weakness" ;) is music and I have to leave you with a song tonight that speaks to my soul and will give you solace and food for thought as well... In His grip, Papa Tripp
"Circumstances change....but God never changes."  Book of Lamentations

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Thanks for sharing, again, Tripp. You are being an awesome witness to the love that you and Barbara shared. That love was beautiful, and sad now that she is gone.
God is greater than all of this, and He IS love. He is with you through these tough times. Your friends are with you in spirit, too.
God bless.

Posted by: Karen | July 2, 2013 4:43 PM

I've buried three babies in the past 10 months...one a month before Barbara passed, and twins just a few weeks ago. Barbara comforted me and put me in touch with Elizabeth Ministries just two weeks before she died. Were it not for her caring, I would never have been able to bury my babies with dignity. I miss her friendship and encouragement terribly.

Grief is a refining fire, and you're right - there are some questions that just won't be answered this side of heaven. "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." (Hebrews 11:1) When you're stripped and weak and have nothing left, that's when you find out how much faith you ever really had.

Thank you for having the courage to share your grief journey and what God is teaching you through it. Rest assured, you are not alone.

Posted by: Rachel | July 3, 2013 4:38 AM

Thank you,,,this touched my heart tonight. I believe God used you and this special post to remind me that there IS a reason for it all...

One thing that I would like to add is that it is so much easier when tragedy strikes, if God is an old, trusted friend that you can call on. But even if He's not, He will surely welcome and support anyone who calls on Him.

Thank you for continuing to comfort us by sharing your story. The ending has not yet been written. I do believe that God still has a purpose for all of our lives, up until the end, even if the latter chapters are written for us to travel alone, remembering and missing the ones who finished their stories first.

Posted by: anonymous | July 3, 2013 11:04 PM

Thank you for sharing a very insightful experience and realization of yours, Barbara. You brought up my spirit and I see hope. I was touched by your words, sincerely grateful that Iíve found you post.

Posted by: Willis Law Firm | July 15, 2013 2:52 AM

I have spent the afternoon crying.. Due to many circumstances I had not visited Mommy Life in quite awhile. I was heartbroken to read of Barbaras passing. The world surely became a bit more dim in October. She was such a blessing to me. She gave me wonderful advice for dealing with some issues of my son Andrew who has downs syndrome. Her wisdom and encouragement was so amazing and came at a time when I really struggled and was frustrated. She was my hero. Her sense of right and wrong, her fighting for her children for what they deserve, the joy in her children that she shared with all of us, touched me in so many ways... When I "grow up" LOL, I hope I can be a mother something like her. I struggle but still work toward being better. Thank you for sharing your thoughts over the last 8+ months. I was blessed by reading your memories. Will be praying for many blessings to come for you and the boys and all the rest of your family. ((((( HUGS)))))

Posted by: Amy | July 15, 2013 5:50 PM

Thank You Tripp

Posted by: Chris | July 16, 2013 1:15 AM

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